somebody tryin&#39; just to stay alive

[ Alex hasn't spoken to Dean since that one fruitless ghost-killing lesson. But, not for nothing, this sounds like someone in a situation he's intimately familiar with. The whole Rabbit Doubt thing makes it easy to guess what Dean might be apologising for.

He nearly passes it by, but... events. Making you do bad things. The guilt you feel afterwards. He's compelled to answer. ]

Did the event get you?

[ Quite different, and worse, than 'did somebody get you during the event'. ]

From:

[He's not talking to anyone. Not yet. His voice is too shaky.

And it's the little girl, isn't it?

He knows that voice.]

[That's all he wants to know.]

From:

[Dean "murders" for a living, but only the bad guys.

Never innocents, particularly not children.]

From:

Wonderland made you do it.

[ It wouldn't make him personally feel better, but hey, good intentions. ]

From:

[No. No, it's really not reassuring. At all.]

[He stops, hesitating, before writing the rest.]

From:

[ Yup. Old Queen or no old Queen (or, more likely, a new Queen who's just as bad as the old one), Wonderland still seems to take pleasure in making bad situations as shitty as possible.

...

...

Alex has no idea how to reassure Dean. In his own situations he would've wanted to go back and wipe out ever having committed the crimes, but that's... not exactly an option he can offer as solace. ]

I'm sorry. That event was really shitty.

From:

[ Oh, it's Philip's voice all right. And he sounds perfectly fine, why, cheerful even! ]

Sorry for what? You didn't even manage to finish the job.

From:

[Literally.]

From:

[That's...weird. And unexpected. Dean isn't exactly jumping at the chance to see Philip face-to-face, so he keeps it audio-related for now.

But his voice doesn't sound so great, either. A little scratchy from lack of use and too much whiskey.]

...you're not pissed?

[Excuse his incredulity.]

From:

Why would I be? Look, other friends play cards or go to museums, but I'm not really good at cards and you'd probably hate museums even if we had any, so... instead we just get drunk and whine about our father issues or get together and maim each other on occasion.

[ He smiles, as if what he was saying was perfectly normal, everyday Philip advice. ]

It's just a... different friendship dynamic, that's all.

From:

[Sure, they have an unusual dynamic, but Dean is fairly sure that "companionable maiming" isn't the best thing about being friends with Philip. It's about accepting someone no matter what awful, supernatural forces are influencing their lives. Feeling comfortable enough to tell a person about your family when disclosing information isn't your forte.

He switches to video.]

So...we're...we're okay? Even though I chased you around like Jack Torrance?

[Dean remembers the expression of sheer horror on Philip's face. The fear. Forgiveness can't be that easy.]

From:

Dean, we couldn't be better.

[ He smiles reassuringly. ]

Look, I'd love to stop by and catch up, but I've got to go and check on Evie and Dan, um - Did you get them too? I know you said you wanted to, but I wasn't exactly around to check.

From:

I, uh-

[...is he seriously asking that?]

Not...not the girl, no. I...got to Dan...though.

[That one was pretty horrible. The screams...]

From:

lingeringmedusa.livejournal.com

I am.

Are you Dean Winchester?

From:

That's, uh... that's- that's good. About Evie, I mean.

[ A laugh, the kind that usually follows a particularly hilarious pun. ]

But Dan's got-- He's got the worst taste in friends, hasn't he?

[ A clenched hand to his lips to suppress the chuckle. ]

Honestly, I don't know if he even knows anyone who hasn't killed him yet.

[ He waves it off. ]

Anyway, I just- just wanted to let you know. We're good, so don't be too hard on yourself... or your liver.

[ A wink. ]

From:

itsahotone.livejournal.com

This sucks.

[Succinct and to the point, that's her!]

From:

Died.

[ He's just not going to touch the one-way ticket thing, primarily because it sounds like he'd need to be a shrink to do so. He isn't privy to the 'literally' part. ]

Came back. Routine.

From:

[Something is...seriously wrong. Philip is too happy. It's almost unnerving. Hell, it is unnerving. It makes him want to stop drinking, actually, and Dean shoves his near-empty bottle of Jack out of the camera frame.]

...you sure you're okay, buddy?

[He frowns.]

From:

Dean, I'm fine, really, I--

[ ...will just switch to ♥ that other accent ♥ now. ]

I can't say the same for your monkey friend, 'cause he's feelin' just a little under the weather, but I'm great.

From:

[Oh.

Shit.

Dean's expression hardens almost immediately, and any and all regrets, guilt, and/or self-loathing he has is succeeded by a burning hatred of Clarence.]

How the Hell did you get ahold of him?

From:

[Because it sure as Hell wasn't me.]

From:

Girl called Santana.

[ It's not exactly dirtying her name, because the murder was the event's fault, but it still feels good to just drop her name in there. Not because she killed him. Just because he doesn't like her. ]

From: