13: [Action] Smokin'

[dashboardlite]

He's been thinking about this for a while.  Let's be honest, here - Castiel is a virgin.  He has to be.  He knows absolutely nothing.  It might do him some good to get out and have someone who's attracted to him crawling all over him.  Someone who isn't Dean all hopped up on clingy Christmas cheer.

That, and this intervention might make Cas stop staring at him so much.  Dean knows he's sexy, but he isn't exactly the most interesting thing in the world to look at.  Staring stupidly is what they invented movies and porn for.

"Fudgin' holidays," He mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck and kicking aside a pile of tinsel on the floor.  He's had better plans in the past, but Santana is his last resort.  Dean doesn't want to go to her, but she probably knows some hot chicks, and she can help him pull Cas out of his shell a little bit.  So he sucks it up and buckles in, knowing it might very well be a bumpy ride.

Dean stops by Santana's door, knocking a couple times and leaning casually on the jamb, hands in his pockets.

Silver lining: Even if he can't touch, he'll still be able to look at his smokin' hot date.  If she accepts.

Comments

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Santana, being Santana, didn't go to the door right away. She finished looking at the current page of the fashion magazine she had, turned the page, then finally got up.

When she saw Dean, her eyebrow went up. Of all the people to stop by, she wouldn't have expected him.

"Hey, Doctor Sexy," she said, mouth quirking up. "What's up?"

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

"I, uh," Dean pursed his lips thoughtfully, tilting his head to one side before answering. "...I got a proposition for ya."

He tried to ignore the jab at his stint 'doctoring'. Way to hit him where it hurt. She was too damn smart for her own good, picking at a wound that was almost fully-healed.

"...you willing to hear me out, sweetheart?"

Dean grinned charmingly.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

If only Dean weren't so very gay. Sigh.

"I'm listening," Santana said, stepping aside to let him into her room. Oh, she was intrigued.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

"Awesome."

He sidles into her room, hands still in his pockets, and pauses once he reaches the middle. Turning on one heel, Dean faces the cheerleader with a fairly serious, leveled gaze.

"...I have a friend who could use a little help." That's right, he has yet to introduce Santana to Castiel. "You mighta seen him at the Christmas dance? Nerdy dude with wings? Anyway...Cas is...well, let's just say that he's never done any cloud-seating up in Heaven - he's an angel, suspend your disbelief for a second - and he's pretty friggin' clueless. I thought...y'know, someone as talented as you might be able to help him outta his shell."

Dean smiles hopefully.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Santana came this close to saying something along the lines of oh, right, the gay guy you're shacking up with. Instead, she wasn't sure whether to comment on the angel thing or the fact that it totally sounded like Dean was calling her a prostitute or something.

"...Talented?"

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

...shit, that came out wrong, didn't it?

"I didn't...fuck, okay, I didn't mean it like that." Dean rubbed the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath before continuing. "...what I mean is that I don't have many other options, and Cas stares at me like I'm the best thing since sliced bread. It's gettin' weird. I could use your help."

He was honest-to-God asking for help. How stiflingly rare.

"I thought we could do some sorta double-date thing."

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

"Oh, so I'm a last resort," Santana said, crossing her arms over her chest. She waited a beat, then added, "Kidding."

This was weird. Obviously that...angel guy had a hard-on for Dean, but it sounded like they weren't together like Kurt thought. Interesting. This had possibilities.

"A double-date, huh? So basically, you want me to distract him in whatever way possible?"

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Dean always hated sounding desperate, but it was bad enough he spent three days trying to keep the angel in his room, and a subsequent three days trying to pet the stupid bastard's goddamn wings - obviously he wasn't the problem, here. Cas was.

"Yes. Please. I'd...really appreciate it. You could bring a hot friend or something, I just...I'd owe you one. Do whatever you gotta do."

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

A slow smile crept across Santana's face. Another person might label it as evil.

"Well, he is pretty cute," she mused. "I guess I can help out a friend."

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," He nearly collapsed in relief. "And yeah, sure, pretty cute - Whatever. He's got no street smarts, and I figure he needs a wake-up call. I'm glad you're game. Invite a friend, yeah?"

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Sure, Santana could probably still be offended by Dean's questioning, but whatever. When it all came down to it, she didn't really care, and she was already getting An Idea.

"Absolutely. Consider him woken up. When are we doing this?"

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

"...good question."

Dean hadn't thought about this. Preferably soon. Preferably now, but wrangling an angel was hard.

"As soon as possible. You pick the date, and we'll be there. I'll even get him to straighten his tie for you."

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

"Ooo, it's a tie-worthy event?" She instantly cringed; she really needed to never use that word again. "Date, I mean."

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, a sexy, tie-wearing date," Dean chuckled, ducking his head a little. "So wear something slinky and I'll ditch the flannel."

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

"Awesome."

Yes, Santana was planning to look super, ridiculously hot. This was going to be fun.

"So this weekend. You sure your friend's up for this?" And yes, she managed to ask that suggestively.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

This weekend was perfect. It'd give Dean time to warm Cas up and prepare him for the inevitable. Castiel was going whether he liked it or not. He couldn't stare at Dean forever. Dean didn't have tits. There was nothing interesting at all for any self-respecting guy to admire unless he was gay, and Cas didn't exactly scream 'Martha Stewart wannabe'.

Dean snorted, "'Course he is. He's just a little shy. Once we get some booze in him and bring up some scintillating conversation about the merits of habitually going to Confession, he'll be a regular charmer. "

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

"Uh-huh. Future tip: talking about his obsession with Confession? Maybe not the best selling point."

Not that it mattered much. She was totally committed to this now, and even if it was a trainwreck...well, she'd get some entertainment out of it. Besides sex, what more could she ask for?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

"I'm kidding," Dean rolled his eyes, sighing. "Cas is just...well, he's an angel, so he's from Upstairs. I dunno what else he'd talk about aside from like...Scripture, or something. That's what we gotta find out. New interests."

He couldn't have Castiel hanging off his every word. That would just be awkward. It's like the guy was obsessed with him. Flattering attention, but it made Dean uneasy in a weird way, particularly after the clingy incident.

His stomach twisted again.

Goddamnit.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, that's much hotter. Scripture. And you're sure I'm the right person for this?" Santana asked, but she was smirking. "If he has any other interests, I'll find them."

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

"Don't be modest, I'm sure you work miracles."

He snorted, "And have you actually read some Scripture? If anyone could get to know Cas in the Biblical sense, it'd be you."

Maybe Dean should have been paying attention to the way Santana was smiling, like she had something up her sleeve. Ever since they'd started being 'okay' again, she'd carried an air of sly mischief around with her, and while Dean didn't completely trust her, it wasn't like she was as bad as other chicks he'd dealt with before.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

It didn't occur to Santana that it was slightly weird of Dean to apparently not have a problem with an under-age girl trying to sleep with Cas, but got all twitchy about it with himself. It didn't occur to her, because obviously the real reason Dean had been so uptight was because he was stuck in the closet.

So it just made logical sense that he wouldn't care about this deal concerning Cas.

"I'm so flattered," she said, and while other people would have sounded sarcastic, she mostly wasn't.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

It didn't occur to Dean, either, that he was effectively setting up a middle-aged man - Technically Cas was like...thousands of years old, but had the mentality of a pre-teen - With an underage girl. It should have bothered him. It really would have bothered him several nights ago during his clingy phase, but now it was only slightly irking. Castiel was, after all, the only other tie to his particular universe.

Why would Dean sacrifice him to the gods of carnality?

For experience. He needed it.

"You should be," He shrugged, smiling again. She'd nearly managed to change his mind about having sex with her, save for the whole going to Hell thing, but Santana was an all right girl. Sneaky as all get-out, but all right.

"Question is, where do we execute Operation Double-Date?"

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

"Uh, I'm afraid that's up to the one doing the asking-out." She helpfully pointed to him. "I'm just along for the ride.

...But it better be good if I'm getting dressed up."

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

...shit. That's right. He hadn't even considered the venue. He'd ask Kurt, but Kurt had been a little weird around Castiel the first time they'd met, so scratch that idea. "I'll think of something," Dean assured her, wondering if the mansion would decorate one of the studies for them. Or at least, he could manage candles and something good from the kitchen.

"Find out what your friend wants to eat and tell me - Unless you already know. And tell me what you want, too, so I can...I dunno, wrangle something up in the magical cupboards."

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Santana thought about it for a moment. "Organic crap. Probably a salad."

Personally, even though Santana didn't eat a lot herself, she made exceptions for dates when someone else was paying. Not that they needed to pay for stuff here, but it was still the same idea.

"I like anything," she said, still smirking. "Oh, and breadsticks. Make sure there are breadsticks."

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Another salad-eater. This could be good news. The last time Dean went out with someone who ate organic shit, they were a yoga teacher and it had been the bendiest weekend of his life.

"Breadsticks and salad, got it."

He'd find a steak for himself. And potatoes. Fuck yes, something filling. Dean didn't know what Castiel would eat, but they'd find something. Giving her a rather suspicious expression, Dean raised an eyebrow at Santana's smirk.

She was up to something.

"...why do you look like Wednesday Addams all of a sudden?"

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

What the hell was that comparison?

"...I look like a creepy goth girl in lame clothes?" she asked dangerously.

Though come to think of it, she could totally see Rachel wearing that little girl dress. Probably not in black.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

"Um. No," Dean tread carefully. "But you sure as Hell look like you're up to something."

He looked at her critically. "You are inviting a hot date for me, right? I mean, they don't have to be as hot as you," Compliments help. "But it'd be nice."

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Compliments did help. She was smiling again, and this time it was slightly less evil!

For a second or two, anyway.

"What, you think I'd just let you get stood up? That wouldn't be very friendly of me, would it?"

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

"...no, it wouldn't," Dean replied slowly, testing the waters. He supposed that it would be in her best interest to bring an interesting date for him, taking everything into account, so he might as well put some faith in her.

Besides, she had to know some other attractive girls around here. She didn't just hang around with Kurt and that Tim guy.

Right?

"Okay," Dean finally conceded, still watching her closely. "I'm trusting you."

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

"Awesome," Santana said again, and clapped her hands together once. Looking very cheerleader-y in the process, probably. "We will totally see you guys then."

Oh, this would be interesting, all right.