14: [Action] Night Moves

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[ooc; Double-date is for Dean, Castiel, Santana, and...the mystery date.]

"She was a black-haired beauty with big, dark eyes," Dean mumbles somewhat in-key, flicking his BIC lighter open and touching the flame to the candles settled on the table.  He's done his best, really - someone as unromantic as Dean Winchester trying to plan anything remotely sexy (And not in the raw, natural way) is almost destined to fail in a spectacular fashion, but at least he tried.  He's commandeered one of the unused studies on the first floor, yanking a table into the middle and arranging four chairs around it.  There's plenty of food - the kitchen provided well: some fancy salad for whoever his date would be, something Italian (with breadsticks) for Santana, a burger for Cas, a steak for himself.

God, he's starving.

"...out past the cornfields where the woods got heavy," Dean chuckles, tucking his lighter away, "Out in the back seat of my '60 Chevy...workin' on our night moves."  He hums through the chorus, poking a plate on the table to one side to make it just right.  He adjusts his tie with a little grimace.  Dean doesn't look bad; in fact, he looks really good*, but it's only because the closet wouldn't give him anything else.  Dean had asked it for something 'nicer', and after four times asking the same question he decided to take the goddamn striped shirt and tie and wear it.

Cas is supposed to show up soon.  Before the dates arrive.  Dean checks his watch and makes a face.  "...c'mon, Cas.  It's show time."  Shuffling over to the chaise lounge in front of the fireplace, he throws himself on fine, silk fabric with a little sigh.

With any luck, he might get some action tonight.

Finally.

*Exhibit A:

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DEAN AND KURT'S WONDERFUL DATE THREAD (WHICH IS WAY BETTER THAN WHATEVER CAS AND HIS DATE ARE DOING)

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Something cold runs through Kurt, and when it hits his stomach it kills any appetite he has left. He's very still, for a moment, just looking at Dean. For a second, his youth really shows; he looks like a child about to get in trouble for something he knows he did.

But he forces it back, trudges up some weak thing half-resembling a smile, and a chuckle chokes out of him, because it's all he can do, really.

"...Sure. O-okay," he says. "Right. A talk. ...Mm. Oh, yes, I'm done."

It's only about half-eaten, but Kurt's relatively sure he would just end up staring at the rest of it anyway. Kurt stands, forcing himself to not crumble where he is, and gives some kind of quick and meaningless parting words to Santana and Cas - so unimportant that he'll forget them in just a minute or two.

He nods at Dean, ready to go, but not feeling as good about leaving alone with Dean as he thought he might. He lets himself hope a little that maybe Dean is just pulling him aside to confess his love for him, and carry him off into the sunset for happily ev-

...But, Kurt's not an idiot. He heard the sigh; he saw the body language and the serious expression. He knows their date just took a turn for the worse, and it pulls at him inside. Was he too obvious? Did he embarrass Dean in front of Santana and Cas? Was he too forceful about Dean coming out? Kurt knows deep down that it's not something anyone should force someone to do, but seeing someone who isn't out is difficult for a whole multitude of reasons.

"Right. ...Let's go have that talk," he tries.

DEAN AND KURT'S WONDERFUL DATE THREAD (WHICH IS WAY BETTER THAN WHATEVER CAS AND HIS DATE ARE DOING)

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As if Dean doesn't feel guilty enough already, Kurt looks at him like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Kurt is just as conscious of his decisions to do whatever the Hell he's been doing around Dean, and he knows it. Dean returns the nod and stands, excusing himself from the table and leading Kurt through the study door and across the hall, into one of the other small living rooms. He shuts the door behind them quietly and takes a seat in one of the chairs, gesturing that Kurt do the same as he leans forward to prop his elbows on his knees and lace his fingers together. Steeling himself, Dean looks at the young man and begins sincerely.

"I like you, Kurt. You're a great guy. You've got...a lot of talent and ambition, and I admire that. You've got big dreams. You're not afraid to push for what you want." And here comes the big 'but'.

"...but..." Dean takes a deep breath. "There are some things you shouldn't push for." He looks down at his clasped hands guiltily for a moment before continuing. "...I'm not gonna lie, Kurt. It took me a damn long time to figure out what's been going on. And...I realized that you've been mistaking friendliness for something else. I don't wanna hurt you. Out of everyone here, I trust you the most, and that's-" Dean laughs hollowly. "In my case, that's sayin' something."

He lifts his head again. This should not be that hard. Why is this so hard? It's like when Sam found out about their mother, about their father, about everything. Dean feels it wrenching his stomach and he swallows hard.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. Even if I did bat for the other team, I'm still twenty-eight, and you're still sixteen, and...you're not gonna like this, but when I look at you, I see my brother. I see someone who I can put my faith in, who I would trust to not lie to me, who I can count on when I need them the most. Someone I would protect when the going got tough."

Dean rubs the back of his neck and sits in the silence for another instant. "...what you want...it isn't wrong, Kurt. I know why you want it. Sam wanted it too. But no one should want that with someone like me." His mouth is dry, and not in the good way, as he licks his lips and tries to wrap up the sappy moment.

"One day you're gonna find someone you wanna spend the rest of your life with." Even knowing that Castiel raises him from the dead, even knowing that he gets yet another chance at life, Dean also knows very well that the only thing waiting for him is the Apocalypse. Green eyes dart back up to make sure that Kurt is looking at him.

"It just won't be me."

DEAN AND KURT'S WONDERFUL DATE THREAD (WHICH IS WAY BETTER THAN WHATEVER CAS AND HIS DATE ARE DOING)

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Kurt isn't looking at him. He was, for a while. Then the tears started welling up, and he had to turn his head away. He's never believed himself to be a very pretty crier anyway. He works so hard on his appearance, and tears just unravel him completely. But mostly, he's embarrassed and hurt, but it's so obvious that it's almost rude to point it out.

He's trying to hold himself together though, so he doesn't come completely undone. He intends to hold onto a small shred of dignity on this date (Was it even a date anymore? Was it ever one?). Finally, he looks at Dean as much as he can stand to.

"...Friendliness. Really," Kurt breathes out, just barely.

The words hang in the air, eating up all the oxygen in the room.

"You..." Kurt isn't sure where to even begin, and then suddenly it all pours out at once. "No straight guy is that friendly to someone he knows is gay, and I stopped making a secret of that months ago."

Kurt bites his lip and shuts his eyes. He takes a deep breath, and then-

"I was as careful as I could be, you know. Just in case you weren't...in case you weren't gay," he says. "I would test the waters, flirt a little, and you would flirt right back and I thought...that you, maybe."

He can't even finish it because obviously that wasn't the case, and it's so glaring now. But it still doesn't explain Dean, or his behavior, or how he's okay with all of this - with all of him - but somehow now gay himself. His father is okay with it, but that's different. And even then, he still remembers that burning jealousy of watching his dad and Finn bond.

"How could you not know what you were doing?" Kurt accuses him. "I mean, God, I never would have guessed someone could be that completely freaking oblivious to...to how they come off, what they say...what it means. I mean seriously! Come on, Dean!"

It's not really Dean's fault, of course. Not really. But Kurt can't help feeling hurt and manipulated and cheated somehow. He was so close to something special, and then it was just yanked away from him so suddenly. He chokes back a sob.

"I can't believe you, Dean!" he hisses out, shaking his head.

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Dean knew that it wasn't going to be easy. And that much is obvious now, as Kurt remains silent for a moment, tears running tracks into his cheeks. This is the part where Dean panics; the part where he doesn't know what the Hell he's doing and how to help or console because honestly, he's awful at it. He's never been the best at comforting his own brother in times of need, because emotions are fucking hard.

Occasionally he tries to interject, but falls silent each time Kurt's voice strengthens. Dean knows that it hurts. He's never really experienced heartbreak of this magnitude, considering the fact that...admittedly, he's usually the one breaking hearts. By now, any women with serious intentions towards Dean know how fast he can run when he's got someone stuck on him.

And yeah, okay, he's friendly. Why is that a bad thing? Why is it so hard to believe that Dean might manage to find something in common with a kid who likes everything he doesn't? It does sound awful that Kurt reminds him so strongly of Sam. Like a tinier, gay Sam. There are just so many similarities that remind Dean of being home.

"Look, Kurt," Dean says in all seriousness, as soon as the kid burns out. "I don't know how it is in your world, but I'm not exactly the discriminating type." He at least deserves the chance to defend himself. "And yeah; yeah, okay, I was oblivious," He admits, gritting his teeth and holding himself together. "I'm not exactly used to-" Dean frowns, trying to avoid the term 'teenager'. "...men...liking me. And I sort of..."

Now that Dean thinks about it, he twists everything into innuendo. It's just the way he is.

"...I always act that way. I'm sorry, Kurt. I know you're probably not gonna forgive me; I wouldn't blame you, because I didn't pay attention. I could've said something sooner. But I didn't, and there's nothing I can do about it now."

He tries to keep from sounding stupidly desperate about this. Dean shouldn't care so much. Kurt Hummel is just some flamboyant, fashion-obsessed kid with a high-voice. But that's not the part that really matters. It's the painfully familiar bitchface, the sharp, cutting wit, and the way he can banter so easily with Dean that makes the hunter happy. To some extent, Kurt kept him from killing himself with alcohol poisoning on several occasions.

"...Kurt." Dean clears his throat a little. "I don't stop very often. I don't spread roots. I move, all the time. It's by choice and necessity, because I can't stand being tied down, and the job kinda requires it." He laughs weakly, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Being here was a big pain in my ass at first, and you were the first person to talk to me. That's why I didn't notice, dude. And I'll say it again, I'm-"

He stops, reaching over to the side-table with a little sigh and taking a tissue from the tissue box, offering it to Kurt. "...I'm sorry."