18: [Action/Video] Touch Me

[dashboardlite]

A video camera, recording, is propped up on Dean's bedside table, giving any viewers a wide frame of his torso and head.  A bottle of Scotch sits next to it, half-empty.  The Doors' Touch Me is playing in the background, fairly quietly as Dean's music goes.  He's thumbing through an automobile magazine, predictably, and humming along (a wee bit off-key).  The hunter snorts when he reaches a particularly hilarious page in his reading material.  "Oh, you gotta be kiddin' me," He rolls his eyes.  "Goddamn horoscopes in my car mags?  Better be a damn good one about Aquariu-"

Dean stops - glancing down at his watch, then the magazine, then his watch again - and makes a face.

"Oh."

His eyebrows raise in surprise.

"So, uh."  He chuckles a little nervously at the camera, quirking a crooked grin.  "Looks like I'm twenty-nine today.  Time flies, huh?"

Comments

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Grin and bear it?

...It's really not that bad once you get past it.

{ }

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[To be honest, it doesn't really bother Dean - He's never cared much about his age, since he looks attractive all the damn time - but being on the tail-end of his twenties is weird.]

That ain't exactly the issue. [He quirks a wry grin.] In my reality, I'd be dead right now. I wasn't gonna live past twenty-nine no matter what.

[Angels be damned, Castiel can talk about the Apocalypse all he wants, but Dean is pretty set on the fact that he's going to Hell and nothing's going to bring him out of The Pit.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Oh. Wow.

I mean... ouch. ]

You're...

[ He stops himself. Nope, 'prod further to find out what Dean is going to die of' is not on the list of approved things to ask during this conversation.

Even if 'wasn't going to live past twenty-nine no matter what' sounds oddly specific for a disease. Prognosis, sure, but there's always some leeway and besides--

And that really doesn't exactly matter now, does it? ]

I'm... sorry.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Don't be.

[Dean waves off the condolences, shrugging a little. It doesn't bother him to talk about so much, anyway - Particularly having experienced a death as gruesome as he has recently, at the hands of the Operator. Hell will be Hell; it's not supposed to be a cakewalk.]

S'my own damn fault, and I had my reasons.

[It's then that Dean remembers that not everyone is up-to-date on the lore of his own world, so he elaborates.]

I sold my soul to save my brother. [He explains bluntly, unbothered.] Normally you get a pretty sweet deal - Whatever you want, and you fork it over after ten years when the repo man comes callin'. [Dean is quiet for a moment.] ...they gave me one year. When I first got here, I had around two months left, so I'm way past my expiration date. I ain't complainin' since Hell ain't exactly dinner with the Kennedys, but I didn't expect to be older than twenty-eight when I bit the dust.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Selling your soul is hardly a foreign concept in Phil's world, but it's been very exclusively restricted to fiction, so that story... is kind of a lot to take in. ]

...Wow.

[ Give him a moment. ]

And there's-- There's nothing you can do, you're just going to die when you get back?

{ }

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Yep.

[Dean picks at his cuticles, glancing back up at Philip after a moment to take in the Englishman's expression. Oh wow, he really is surprised. Dean chuckles dryly.]

Yeah, 'm gonna die when I get back. You're like my br- [He did not just nearly make another comparison to Sam. Dean is feeling the loss a lot more recently; like he's emptier without his brother and desperately trying to find parts of Sam in other people.] ...someone I know.

[He nods slowly.] I made a deal with a demon, Phil. I can't break outta that no matter what I do, and believe me - I've tried everything. The bitch has me by the short 'n curlies. Hellhounds are on my trail. [And practically breathing down his neck.]

Not gonna lie, man...I'm not lookin' forward to it. But as long as my brother's alive, s'all I need to know.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip nods slowly, but what follows then is yet more silence during which he frantically searches for a direction he could take this.

Hellhounds? What are those? And wait, demon? Not Satan? Then can't Dean just kill the demon? Isn't that what he does? And if he dies when he gets back, maybe he could just stay here? Apparently they can't get him here, right?

But any question Philip begins is followed by a sting of guilt, by the belief that they really shouldn't be talking about Dean's death on his birthday in the first place.

In the end Philip opts to keep his thoughts to himself, at least as far as follow-up questions are concerned. ]

Your brother is... lucky to have you.

[ Philip is fairly certain that nobody he knows would trade his life for him like that. Or vice versa. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Lucky? [Dean snorts. He's long-since decided that luck has absolutely nothing to do with how he and Sam manage to scrape by. It's more like the skin of their teeth.] Eh...you could say that.

[He scratches his chin, thoughtful.] He's a lot like you, actually. Likes research. Thinks I'm irritating. [Here, have a snarky grin. Dean rolls his shoulders in a casual shrug.] But he's got his demons, too.

[Not that Sammy is possessed, oh no...but he's using these weird, psychic powers with the help of some demon bitch named Ruby, and Dean feels like it's all gonna go to pot when he isn't there. But enough comparing. If he keeps finding something Sammy-like in everybody, he might actually regret it when he dies again. Speaking of which...]

Y'know, I went after the Operator.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip almost worries about that particular comparison. He almost points out that Dean is really a decent and quite bearable guy as long as he is not permitted access to the library. Philip also almost cringes at the mention of demons; personal demons that are nowhere near as metaphorical as he wants them to be.

But all of that is cut short to the point of nonexistence when Dean adds his last comment. ]

You- you did? And?

[ Did you find it? Did you kill it? What happened? Details! OMG! ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean stretches languidly, rubbing a crick out of his neck. He doesn't mind talking about this, but it's still not his favorite subject. Coming back to life sucked.]

Found it. Motherfucker turned me into confetti. Took a whole day to come back together, and it wasn't fun. [Dean makes a face.] Castiel found my arm...somewhere. I was in pieces, man.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

You. Died.

...You died?

[ Once more, maybe? Third time's the charm? No? Okay then.

So please enjoy Phil's mixture of shock, OHCRAP and a hint of wondering whether Dean is talking about mansion revival or some magical demon hunter ability to pierce yourself back together. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Geez, did he stutter? Dean did say 'confetti', right? He gives Philip a funny look.]

Yeah. It sucked. Like a great big bag of dicks.

[He scratches his elbow. It's not as though Dean hasn't nearly-died before, but he's never come back like this. He's never felt every excruciating second. One minute he isn't all there, and the next he is. ]

The sonuvabitch went to town on me like an Iron Chef. Never thought I'd look at my feet and see nothin' but my own guts all over the place, but I did. I think that was one of my lives...Mark was telling me somethin' about people either reappearing a day after being ganked, or comin' back together like rewinding a tape.

[He purses his lips and gives Philip a sidelong glance.] ...you okay?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

So it's true after all, [ he mutters quietly to himself when Dean recounts his resurrection story.

He frowns at the gory details, but in the end it only seems like a minor step up from what he's experienced so far and after the initial shock it doesn't faze him too badly. It should. It doesn't. He hates that it doesn't.

And then there's Dean's question. It gets a chuckle out of him. The disbelieving kind. ]

You're the one who died, not me. [ But since there's apparently reason to ask he might as well answer, just to reassure. ] I'm fine.

...What about you?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Could be better, but I ain't bad.

[He quirks a cocky grin.] Got chewed out by an angel. First time that's ever happened. Other than that...avoiding "overly reckless behavior." S'hard work bein' good, Phil. [The smile widens.]

And it looks like you got a sense of humor. That's the first time I've heard you laugh, dude.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

{ }

I didn't actually...

[ ...mean any of that in a fun kind of way, but then again, who is Philip to object to people discovering positive qualities in him?

And besides, ]

Did you say angel?

...Wait. Is- Is that your friend from high places?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean can find positive qualities in almost anything, depending on the circumstances and his mood. It is his birthday, though, so he's bound t be a little merrier than usual.

But that might also be attributed to the Scotch. Dean scratches his jaw, looking vaguely contemplative.]

Yeah. [He says distractedly, remembering little Lazarus stunt in the woods. And blue eyes. Very blue, concerned eyes.]

There're demons and angels. Go figure.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

And he-- He? She? It?

...is here? There's an angel here?

{ }

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

He. I think. They take vessels.

[Dean doesn't know all that much about angels, aside from the fact that they have to ask nicely to take possession over someone's body, but Castiel seems all right. Only a little douchey.]

His name's Castiel, he's from my reality. Not too bad once you get to know him, but his people-skills are so-so. Why, you wanna meet 'im?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Cue moodswitch flip to >8/. ]

A vessel. You mean he possesses people. Like a demon.

[ And a Tuurngait. Especially a Tuurngait. ]

{ }

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[What the fuck is with Philip and the subject of people getting possessed? That was the first thing that made the guy like him, and for a dude who doesn't talk about his past, he sure is hiding a lot. Dean figures he ought to clarify the way that Castiel had done for him.]

Relax, I flipped out the same way. Yeah, he's wearing some Joe Schmo's meatsuit. Angels can't take vessels without asking, though. S'different from demons. The guy prayed for it.

[Dean shrugs. 'Honor' or not, he'd never want some dick possessing him.]

Cas is full of angel mojo; or he's got some. He can read thoughts and...I dunno, do party tricks.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Prayed for it... [ So I heard Dean likes Phil's chuckle. Please, have another one, only with an added layer of insane on top of the disbelief. ]

{ }

And the rest? Voluntary possession. Did you get that from doing research? From asking his vessel? Or is that just what he told you?

[ The narration would like to apologise on angry!Phil's behalf. It's just that he has yet to meet a happy "vessel" or a vessel-taker who isn't an utter dickweed. The fact that Clarence introduced himself as his guardian angel doesn't do a lot to warm him up to Castiel either. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Under normal circumstances, Dean wouldn't stand up for anything that had taken the body of someone else, using it for their own gain. However, this is...this is Cas. And Cas is a missionary man working for God, wherever the Hell He is, to stop the Apocalypse from happening back in...well. The future.]

A vessel's consciousness is pushed to the back. It's like bein' chained to a comet. Until- [He stops, thinking about it.] ...look, man, I don't really know. You'd have to ask 'im yourself. That's how it is in my world - I've been possessed by a demon before, and it sucked ass, but angels are different. They're still sorta dicks...but they're righteous dicks.

[And they still have to ask permission first.]

Why're you getting your panties in a twist over this, Phil? You know someone with a problem like this? [Dean asks suspiciously, eyes narrowing.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ All of that is a small comfort at best and a long way away from having Philip convinced, but it's enough to have him slowly and grudgingly back off, if only for how certain Dean sounds that being possessed by an angel is not a TERRIBLE THING (TM).

And then there's the question which he answers immediately and with perfect honesty. ]

...Someone who's been possessed by an angel? No.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Specifically, Dean meant a 'problem' with possession. Philip's been pretty damn uppity about the subject, and, come to think of it, Dean never even gave him the run-down for checking if there's demonic possession going on.

And Dean is pretty sure that throwing holy water or salt on the guy wouldn't go over well.]

...you can ask Castiel later, if you want.

[Dean doesn't want to give the whole "You know dude, you can trust me" speech, especially since this is really only the second time they've talked, but he feels a weird kinship with Philip. Despite the Englishman's almost-curmudgeonly behavior, he's not so bad of a guy.

Maybe changing the subject would be a good idea.]

You wanna meet up for a birthday beer, or somethin'?

[A tactful non-sequitur, really.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ He doesn't think he wants to. In fact, he doesn't think he ever wants to meet this angel, vouched for by Dean or not.

He also doesn't think he'll be able to carry on the conversation properly now and if he has to end their talk on an uncomfortable note he'd rather have it be this than another sequence of morose silence. ]

I... I think I'll pass.

[ And he kind of wishes he'd said that with more conviction now. ]