20: [Video/Action] Open Arms

[dashboardlite]

Dean is slumped in one of the easy chairs in his room, seemingly completely oblivious to the camera he's left on the bedside table.  It's at enough of an angle that half his face is obscured by the shadows in the dimly-lit room, and the only sources of illumination are the floor lamp off in the far corner, and the soft electric glow of the radio's face.

The only thing it's been playing today are Journey's greatest hits, but it's been stuck on a loop of Faithfully and Open Arms, which made Dean think, and thinking is always a bad idea when he's convinced that he's fucked up almost every close friendship - or relationship - he's had with anyone since coming here.

Dean is starting to see a pattern, and if the expression of grim pain on his face isn't enough of a giveaway that something is wrong, then the beer bottle dangling from his fingertips over the left arm of the chair ought to be.  Reaching down, he tugs off one of his heavy biker boots and chucks it at the radio, which clatters to the floor and fizzles out of whatever reception it was getting.

He knows he should be happier.  His brother is here.  Sam, Sasquatch that he is, is here - albeit older - the the guilt he feels over moping when he should be catching up with Sam is...really awful, actually.

But everyone has those days, right?

Right?

Comments

OH YAY WE'RE GONNA HAVE A TALK NOW.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

...okay. Cards on the table. First impression: What do you think when you see me?

[Dean employs his Charming Smile (TM).]

HELL YEAH. /SHADES. B|

[usskickass.livejournal.com]

[She's momentarily thrown by this, but uh. Okay.] You're young and...I dunno. Good-looking. Probably decent in a fight.

[She makes a mental note to ask him about football when he's feeling better.]

THIS CONVERSATION MAY SEEM FAMILIAR TO YOU, COACH BEISTE.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Okay, yeah, but- [HEAVY SIGH.] Do I look like the sorta dude who'd be attracted to other dudes?

SO MANY GAY KIDS. /FLIPS TABLES

[usskickass.livejournal.com]

[...]

Uh.

T'be honest it didn't really occur to me either way.

Is that what this is about? [She called him young buuuut she's kind of thinking he'd be old enough to know himself better than that.]

SOB

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

...well...I'm not. I...really, really like chicks. I mean, a lot.

But say...hypothetically speaking...if the dude I like isn't really a dude, but an angel using a dude's body as a vessel, does that still count as liking a dude?

[He's a little tipsy. Can you tell?]

it's not just a river in egypt, dean B|

[usskickass.livejournal.com]

[Maybe she should've gone and found him first. Especially since the whole angel thing is just...she can't even tell if he's serious.]

Buddy, you ever think you're worrying too much about labels?

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT /cries forever

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Mmphf...I guess.

[He mumbles a little, looking disconsolate.]

I just...I screwed up and I don't know how to make it up...to him.

/pats

[usskickass.livejournal.com]

[Her expression softens-- not that she was angry or anything, but she really wasn't sure how to deal with this. Guys are...different about this kind of stuff. But screwing up, well. Everyone does that.]

You could start with sayin' you're sorry. Never hurts, anyway.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean really wishes that it was that easy. He wishes he could get up the courage to hunt Cas down and apologize and tell him how he feels, and particularly the part about how stupidly terrified he is because for once - he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.]

...yeah. [Dean mumbles grudgingly.] Guess he deserves that much.

[usskickass.livejournal.com]

[She scratches at her neck awkwardly, sighing.] I know it won't be all that easy, but that don't make it okay to let it go. That guy was hurtin'. Whatever else happens, well, at least you'll have said you were sorry for what started all this.

[And then, despite her better judgment as she's pretty sure this is the guy who was getting Kurt's pretty feathers all ruffled, she suggests:] You could talk to Kurt about...some of the more specific issues here. I'm not too great at, uh. That kinda stuff. And he's a smart kid.

ASDFGH LJ NOTIFS ARE SUCKY. 8(

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Shannon Beiste's better judgment must be freaking awesome, because she's right and Dean flinches a little at the thought of telling Kurt how he feels about Castiel. That'd be like setting off a bomb.

Nonetheless, he nods again and considers what would probably happen for a split-second before deciding to fuck that idea and find another way.]

Thanks. I'll...I'll look into that.

[If stoic-as-a-statue Castiel looked hurt enough for strangers to be able to tell, then he's more than upset.

Great, now the guilt is worse.]