23: [Action/Video] Pirates

[dashboardlite]

Who'll make his mark
The captain cried
To the devil drink a toast
We'll glut the hold
With cups of gold
And we'll feed the sea with ghosts
I see your hunger for a fortune
Could be better
Served beneath my flag
If you've the stomach
For a broadside
Come aboard my pretty boys
I will take you and make you
Everything you've ever dreamed.

Obscenely loud music is blaring from one of the first floor parlors, and it possesses a remarkable nautical quality that borders on the fucking epic.  You might be wondering the reason for these festive tunes, curious resident.  If you happen to be peering through your communicator or walking down the hall, venturing into the nearest open door, your vision is assaulted by a swath of colorful fabrics draped over the furniture, from the ceilings, along the walls.  The alluring glitter of gold winks up at you from piles on the floor, and a bust of someone who looks suspiciously like Edward Teach is bedecked in jewelry and scarves.

The captain rose from a silk divan
With a pistol in his fist
And shot the lock from an iron box
And a blood red ruby kissed
I give you jewelry of turquoise
A crucifix of solid gold
One hundred thousand silver pieces
It is just as I foretold
You, you see there before you
Everything you've ever dreamed.

You might even see Dean Winchester, sporting an eyepatch and a large, plumed hat, lounging on a silk divan.  His jeans are tucked into heavy leather boots and he's wielding a flintlock pistol, cleaning the barrel with a chamois rag.  Pausing for one moment, he sets the gun aside and reaches over to pick up one of the gold doubloons scattered across the floor.  He then peels away the leafing and pops the chocolate money into his mouth, enjoying it with obvious relish.  Turning the music down as soon as it breaks to an instrumental interlude, Dean crosses his legs on the divan, getting comfortable.

He pulls out a hip flask, taking a swig and saluting the camera with his left hand - observant residents might notice that he appears to have only four fingers now.  Then he spreads his arms to welcome the adoring audience.

"All aboard, bitches."

Comments

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[Awesome. So some crazy person is running around being crazy.]

...Was he wearing a mask?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Nah, it was-

[Uhhhhhhhhh.]

Some crazy-as-fuck alien.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

What?! Like green and bug-eyed? Or is there some creepy alien that looks like us walking around, ready to kill us all?!

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Hey, calm down, I took care of it.

[Well. Castiel did.]

Sonuvabitch won't be eatin' eyes again anytime soon.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[...What.]

It ate your eye?! That's disgusting! [In fact, she now looks like she might be sick. Awesome.]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

No shit.

[Here is his lineface.]

It was worse when it was happening, believe me.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[THE HORROR. Hold on while she visibly gets the disgust under control, the same way she gets the mask of indifference up when the coach is yelling at them in the bullhorn and upping her detailed threats if they mess up. It doesn't take long.]

So...now you've decided to become a pirate.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Nah, I just thought it'd be fun for a day.

[Look at him, beaming like an adorable schoolboy! He offers her one of the necklaces from the bust of Edward Teach, smirking.]

Don't lie, you think pirates are sexy.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Do I? [She...inches forward to take the necklace with two fingers, like it's a trap.]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean rolls his eyes (we're keeping the plural because it makes him feel better) and extends his arm further, jewelry (http://www.palagems.com/Images/ball_spinel_article/engraved_spinel_necklace.jpg) dangling from his fingers.]

It ain't booby-trapped.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[She may be slightly reluctant to get too near him. MISSING EYE.]

That's just what someone would say if it was. [She takes it, though. Still with the two fingers. She pays it very close attention instead of looking at him.]

You should bedazzle the patch. Really make it stand out.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Pft. Right. I wanna look like Captain Hook, not Captain Fabulous.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Didn't Captain Hook have like, a long curly wig and wear tights?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

I don't do tights, thanks.

[Dean stretches out on the divan leisurely, hands behind his head.]

I look fine the way I am.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

I dunno. I'm totally not as turned on by you as I usually am.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Normally this would bother him, but he's had a helluva lot worse recently. Dean shuts his eye, smiling blithely.]

Damn, I'll hafta write sad poetry in my diary now.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[She wasn't saying it to be mean or insulting anyway.]

I bet Captain Hook never did poetry. You're really falling down on this, you know.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean grins, eye still closed.]

Who are you to lecture me on piracy, wench?

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Wow, there's a super endearing nickname. How about you not call me that, and I won't have to throw marbles at your lack of eye?

[She doesn't actually sound all that insulted, of course.]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[The eye opens, and he pouts.]

You'd do that? You're so cruel to me.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

Is that supposed to be news?

[All of this is really supposed to translate into: I'm glad you're not dead.]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean chuckles and makes himself more comfortable, which is code for: Thanks.]

You got me there, baby.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[She peers at the necklace again.]

So how's your luvah taking this?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

...what? The necklace, or the piracy?

['Piracy' meaning 'one-eyed-ness'.]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[eyeroll. it's so much more impressive with both eyes.] The piracy and near death or whatever.