somebody tryin&#39; just to stay alive

Something like that. The seasons seem to be changing though, so I guess it does in a way...but everyone here claims that when we go home, no time will have gone by at all.

[]

Both of them at once? [] ...Err. I'm sure you'll find something. It works like the closets do, if you've tried those yet.

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[Santana's been staring-slash-smiling at Dean since she entered the kitchen, so she's also been ignoring what the two others have been saying. Until she realizes what Kurt just said.

What? Are you telling me you can ask for anything and this place will just give it you? Like, specific food things??

[SHE IS GLARING AT YOU SCARILY, KURT.]

No one told me this!

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[Dean rubs his hands together eagerly, casting an interested look around the kitchen and shrugging at Santana's obvious discontent.]

I dunno, sweetheart, but we might as well find out. Let's see what's behind Door Number One...

[Moving in to the first cabinet, he grips the handle tightly and wrenches it open to find - ]

Holy Jesus fuck.

[It's a bacon cheeseburger. And...a whole apple pie. And freaking vanilla ice cream. Dean groans like a man getting head and pulls both plates out, kicking the cabinet door shut behind him with a little snicker and setting his meal on the table. Pulling a chair up and turning it to face the table backwards, he straddles the thing and picks up the burger, admiring it for a moment.]

Oh, baby, I missed you.

[And he started to eat. And it was good.]

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[] I thought you would have known by now.

[]

How can you eat that grease-laden...thing? Ugh. It's a heart attack in a bun!

[]

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[Santana is just...so torn. The sounds Dean's making just makes her imagination run, but. The food. Ewww. As a result, it's possible she looks ridiculous.]

Okay, I can't watch anymore. [she walks past Kurt.] Just shut your eyes, Hummel. It's way hotter that way.

[But! Time to test for herself. She checks a cabinet annnnnd...practically squeals. You saw this coming, don't lie.]

Oh my god, Breadstix breadsticks!

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Yeah, right, like I've got to look out for cholesterol where I'm goin'.

[Snorting in disbelief - What is it with teens these days and starving themselves? - He finishes the burger in a few minutes flat; not exactly a record time for him, but he was pretty hungry nonetheless. And damn, that thing hit the spot. But what he'd really been looking forward to was this. This majestic, glorious, hot apple pie. Sucking his fingers clean with another groan of delight, the older man grapples in a drawer behind him for a fork and a knife, cutting himself a slice and setting it right on top of the ice cream. He admires his masterpiece for a second.]

Gotta enjoy life while you can, Kurt. [It's pretty sage advice, all things considered, coming from Dean. Without any ado, the hunter spears himself a bite of delectable apple goodness and tested the waters, rolling his eyes back into his head and sticking a finger in the melting ice cream, sucking on the tip.]

...and dude, seriously, this apple pie is orgasmic.

[One would be able to gather as much from the expression of sheer bliss on his face and the sounds coming out of his throat.]

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[]

I am enjoying it, thank you. [.] I'm just getting a head start on my peers, who aren't going to start caring about their health until they're in their forties, with unsightly beer bellies to show for all of the abuse they will inevitably put their bodies through in college...

[]

...Mm. It seems that way. []

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[By then Santana's taken a seat, too, if only to get a better view of Dean. She's...vaguely gnawing on a breadstick. She glances at Kurt, who's clearly also enjoying the show.]

Looks that way, yeah.

[Staaaare. And hey, she's not exactly bashful, so:]

So, Dean. Is this how you are in bed? Cause you kinda look like you wanna be fucking that pie. [And it's hot, RIGHT KURT?]

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[He's happily eating in his own little world, and actually chokes on a piece of apple at Santana's abrupt, prying question. Eyes widening, Dean smoothes a hand over his neck and swallows, gasping and staring at her.]

...damn. [He's hoarse now, and clears his throat with...slight nervousness?] Come on any stronger, sweetheart, and I'll hafta get a restraining order.

[Leaning back, he scrutinizes the both of them carefully. It doesn't take too long to compose himself, but...really. Teenagers these days. Dean couldn't remember being that vulgar - then again, he was being a pretty awful role model right now.]

And no, [With a chuckle, he twists the fork in his hands, making eye contact with the her.] This is not how I am in bed. First I would sweet-talk the pie into taking its clothes off; but then that's only with cherry pie.

[Oh, two can play at this game. Dean cranes back to the table again, sliding one finger through melted vanilla ice cream, sucking on it with apparent relish before pulling it out of his mouth with an obscene, audible POP.]

You'll have to excuse me, since the last time I had an apple pie this good I was about to be sacrificed to a pagan harvest god.

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[]

Well. Just imagine. Pie that glorious whenever you want, with no sweet-talking whatsoever.

[]

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[And again, Kurt's thoughts stole Santana's. HATE YOU, ~~CHERRY PIE~~ KURT.

Anyway. Santana's amused and pleased with the way Dean reacted to that. Just so you know.]

I was just asking. [Her smirking makes her seem so sincere, too.] Was the pie your last meal or something?

[She kicks Kurt's shin under the table. She can read your dirty, filthy mind, Kurt.]

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[He isn't even paying attention to them, for the most part becoming easily pulled into the allure of delicious pie once more. He laughs in good humor at Kurt's reply, though.]

Yeah, s'nice to not have to work for - mmn - something, for once. [Lickng every finger meticulously, helps himself to another piece of pie and tries to keep the heat in his cheeks from rising from being stared at so much. It feels more awkward when it's not women in a bar.]

Last meal? Something like that. They were trying to fatten me up so a Mr. Hash-Slinging-Slasher-Scarecrow could have a good time tearing open my stomach.

[He quirks another grin, the smile sort-of fading as he mumbles quietly into another bite of pie.]

But I've faced death before. [He licks his lips thoughtfully.]

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[] That...sounds extremely unpleasant.

You must face that a lot though, in your line of work. Death, possible disembowelment... It sounds very dangerous. I can't imagine being in that situation.

[]

It's very courageous of you.

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[Santana basically snorts derisively at Kurt's little act. She is ~~mostly~~ above faking weakness to snare guys. But then, maybe Kurt's not faking it OH SNAP.]

That's super gross. The stomach-tearing part, not the rest. [The way she talks, Dean could be talking about nothing more than stubbing a toe.] Plus like, what a waste of a last meal.

[NOM NOM BREADSTICK.]

Edited Date: 2010-11-04 12:01 am (UTC)

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Face death and dismemberment a lot? You have no idea. [Dean offers him a casual grin, pausing in the consumption of pie to scribble little designs on his plate with his fork.] That's isn't quite the half of it. And don't knock pie, sweetheart. [Dean points his cutlery at Santana accusingly, raising an eyebrow before changing back to his original subject.]

Y'know the monsters you used to think were under your bed, or in your closet? You know why you were afraid of the dark as a kid? 'Cause it's all real. Everything. And this shit isn't a Mulder-and-Scully, Casper the Friendly Ghost kind-of-scary. This is really real.

[His expression seems to brighten at Kurt's comment about bravery, though.] Courage isn't part of it. It's just what we do. Saving people, hunting things...the family business. [Dean relinquishes his fork to the tabletop, reaching up to finger the amulet around his neck.]

...and besides, [He waggles his eyebrows, putting up that usual Dean Winchester bravado.] Danger is my middle name.

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[]

'Danger', hm? It sounds like it suits you.

[]

What's that? Is it Tiffany & Co?

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That's...really creepy. Remind me not to pass through your world like, ever. I really don't feel like dying any time soon, especially by supernatural creatures.

[She taps her remaining breadstick against the table, then reaches over and steals a cucumber from Kurt's salad.]

Ugh. What dressing did you use?

[That done, she'll peer at Dean's amulet as well!]

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[He stops fiddling with it long enough to see that they're interested. Dean glances down at the amulet, lifting it up a little to the light.]

What, this (http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c332/trailweblaze/ialcr_fullxfull44323-1.jpg)?

[He snorts, shaking his head with a wry smile.]

Try Ancient Babylonian. That's all I know about it, really. My brother gave it to me...a while back. It was a Christmas present.

[Ducking his head, Dean lifts the leather loop around his neck and holds the amulet out to Kurt.]

There's somethin' special about it, I just haven't figured out what yet. And I don't have the time anymore, so there's no point in worrying.

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[] It's a balsamic vinaigrette, if you must know.

[]

It's primitive, but very well crafted. The detail work is incredible, given its age. I would have assumed it would have been more worn down.

[]

It's an excellent piece. It must be worth a fortune, if it's really from Ancient Babylon.

[]

That was an amazing find on your brother's part.

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[SHE DIDN'T WANT TO HOLD IT ANYWAY. You probably have ancient germs on you now, Kurt. Deal with THAT.

Besides, she got girl cooties on him because she was leaning closer to look at it when he was holding it. So there.]

You could have your own show, Kurt. You know, one of those boring ones where people tell endless details about other people's stuff and how much it's all worth.

[Aaaand back to Dean.] Your life sounds pretty wild. [She somehow manages to make it NOT sound like the most obvious statement ever. Worship her talent.]

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[He laces his fingers together, casually leaning on the table and watching them look over it. He wishes to Hell and back he knew what it was for, or what it did, but they'd never been able to find any information on it when they'd had time to waste on something so inane.]

We deal in all sorts of ancient stuff.

[Dean shrugs, taking the amulet back and looping it over his neck.]

My brother got it from a friend of ours. It was meant for my dad, but he was kind MIA one Christmas, so Sammy gave it to me. [The older man rubs the back of his neck, pursing his lips and staring at the pie in front of him. He's not so hungry anymore.]

Yeah? [He manages to pull another smile back onto his face for Santana.] That's what they tell me. [Standing, Dean twists the chair back around to face the table, folding his arms over his chest and propping his feet up on the wooden top, leaning back with half-lidded eyes and his typical sexy smile. It doesn't do for him to brood.]

Any other questions, O Spanish Inquisitors?

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Oh. ...I'm sorry to hear that. []

Well, it's hardly a Spanish Inquisition if you're expecting it, right? []

[]

You sound like you lead a terribly busy life. Do you ever find the time for...romance?

[]

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[Santana's just gonna give MAJOR SIDE-EYE to Kurt. That laugh makes him sound like a serial killer in training, and the way he speaks makes him sound like a Victorian princess. She's ashamed to be semi-kinda-sorta-in a way-just a little bit friends with him.

However, she's curious in the answer, too.]

Or at least sex. [Oh yeah, she knows there's a difference there.]

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