dashboardlite | 26: [Action] Dazed and Confused

[Dude, you don't know what could be lurking in that maze. Dean has read the Greek myths. He knows the stories.]

What's it look like I'm doing, pickin' daisies?

[And no, there are no daisies about, in case you were wondering.

It's kind of nice to see Philip again, even the two of them resemble some manner of mismatched comedy duo with their fanciful eyepatches and comically surly expressions.]

I'm-

[He nudges a stick with his shoe and sighs in a put-upon fashion. Oh, the life of Dean Winchester is so hard. So hard.]

-wandering?

[Good answer.]

You're. Wandering.

[ Really, Dean? Because coming from the hunter that sounds about as plausible as picking daisies. ]

...yeah?

[He grins sheepishly, totally convincingly, and shoves his hands in his pockets. Rocking back on his heels, Dean rolls his eyes up to the sky and then back to Philip.]

Nah, not really. 'M just- [That gravel there? Oh man, it is so being kicked into the hedges.] ...I feel weird. Like I need somethin'. Dunno what it is, but,

[Shrug.]

I sorta feel better now.

[Now that you're heeeeeeeeeeee~re with meeeee~eeee!]

[ Philip nods knowingly. Even without the helpful theme music he understands that it must be the same kind of wandering they've been doing. He looks back at the path he came from, into the maze. ]

I haven't been here in months. Last time...

[ The vague memory of last time led him here. Pendergast. Back then the agent was probably the closest Philip had to a friend here. The story is nagging at the back of his mind, insisting to be told. ]

Hey, did I ever tell you I actually knew an FBI agent?

[ The tone is casual, a little hesitant. Native speakers of Polite Conversationish might correctly translate to 'I am about to reminisce and this is your last chance to stop me'. ]

[Dean was wandering around the hedge maze because he seriously didn't know what else to do with himself. Feeling lost is familiar - feeling alone is not. It's August. He's been here practically a year. A year without Sam.

Better throw on some good humor- Actually, no. He doesn't have to. He does feel genuinely better with Philip here.]

And his name wasn't Salazar Houdini?

[Dean makes an expression of mock surprise. Unfortunately, he's not fluent in the tongue of Polite Conversationish, but anything to keep him from dwelling on his empty spaces seems harmless enough.]

Here, or back on the A Side?

[The B Side is starting to get old with its lack of cars.]

[ Philip laughs. ]

...Actually that sounds fairly close. [ Beat. ] But he wasn't lying.

[ At least Philip doesn't think so. Certainty has a better ring to it... and it's not like it matters. He's gone, probably for good. ]

His name was Pendergast and I met him just after I arrived, he was- he was one of the first people I even saw here.

[ One of the first people he saw after trekking through Greenland alone.

Philip picks at the hedge, trying to loosen one of its neatly trimmed branches. ]

He explained some of Wonderland to me, but at that time I just couldn't believe how calm he was about it- about everything, I mean. [ A pause. ] One day he came to see me and Clarence killed him.

[ No change in Philip's tone. Just an inevitable part of the story. "The sun rose. Somebody knocked on the door. Clarence killed people". ]

...That was last year, some sort of ritual sacrifice that was supposed to bring us home, I-- I blacked out at some point, I still don't remember how it all ended, only that I suddenly woke up back in my body and...

[The hedge makes a small cracking noise and Philip holds a branch in his hand. ]

Clarence told me that he- that Pendergast shot me. Just after he came back to life. We talked later, he said he'd figured out it wasn't me, but--

[ The branch drops and for a long moment Philip looks at Dean as if to ask, "Why am I telling you this?" ]

...Anyway, I just-- I met him in the centre of that maze last time I was here, I guess... I guess that's why I remembered.

[ And to tell Dean thank you for not killing me even when my body is being controlled by an alien douchebag virus, though that purpose is one that escapes Philip himself. ]

[Pendergast? Damn, that's a mouthful. Good thing Dean doesn't know the guy's first name.

At least Philip met an adult. Dean got tackled by teenagers when he showed up - he thought he'd been transported to some kind of high school Hell.

And, uh. Well. Clarence killing people isn't a surprise, but Dean's only gotten sparse details about the "ritual." Castiel ought to look into Clarence's culture - or history, or whatever - if they can distract the douche long enough.

So Philip is justifiably concerned about being killed. He's got a royal pain in the ass for a head-mate and a hunter of monsters as a close friend.]

Huh.

[Dean contributes sagely, and the decent part of him realizes that this is a pretty serious moment. Philip is still human. He's just a vessel for some sick fuck. Taking into account all their awkward silences about family, his home life, and they crap they've been through...no man deserves that.

Dean wonders when he started telling the truth so much.]

Is that where you showed up when you got here? The maze?

No, that- that was later, I... appeared somewhere inside. I don't think I even changed floors when I picked my room, but--

[ Looking back he has to shake his head. That was an interesting moment to say the least. ]

The first day was a bit chaotic. I thought it was all just another hallucination.

[ That he'd passed out again and just never woke up. Sometimes he still thinks about that. And sometimes he can't believe he believes that it's all real. ]

What about you? [ Beat. ] I mean, where did they place your teleport?

Yeah, geez.

[Waking up in strange places isn't a big favorite of Dean's - he's always in a different place every week because of his lifestyle, but if it was a drastic change then he'd be willing to bet a whole lot of money that it'd freak him out.]

I showed up in my room. [Dean shrugs.] It was exactly the same as the one I'd been stayin' in - we were on a case with some haunted house at the time - and it didn't seem weird until I looked out the window and realized I was ten friggin' stories up.

[Talk about a nightmare for a guy who doesn't do heights.]

Man, you shoulda seen me. I left a transmission like it was a goddamn zombie apocalypse.

[ Philip never thought about it. Maybe he simply assumed Dean would have kept his cool, but now? That sounds like an image worth contemplating. He grins. ]

I suddenly wonder if there is a way to access old transmissions.

[ HA OH THAT IS SO HILARIOUS but not really. BI ]

Yeah, real funny. I had things under control, Mr. Lucy-in-the-Sky-With-Diamonds.

[Except for the part where his two first contacts were teenagers; one of whom had a crush on him for a solid three months, the other...the other...was Santana, so. There it is, then.]

Like during a zombie apocalypse. I'm sure.

[ ...That was only half sarcastic, actually. Philip does have faith in Dean's interdimensional travelling skills. ]

Hey, um, so...

[ It's not often that they find something to talk about that doesn't directly or indirectly branch into trauma, so Philip is visibly pleased to have stumbles across something that sounds harmless enough. ]

Who was your welcome committee? You know, I mean, who were the first people you met here or- or talked to?

[Dean can travel interdimensionally backwards, forwards, and side-to-side, thank you very much.

Just not in a plane.]

Uh.

[That's, uh...yeah, that's a good place to start. Welcoming committees. Sure.]

Teenagers.

[Looking back, he's just a little ashamed of how worried he was about monsters jumping out from behind closed doors. Carrying a duffel bag of weapons around isn't the most discreet way to protect oneself and others. But, in his defense, he'd been new. Retrospect has a habit of making him feel like a prized tool.]

A cheerleader named Santana and a- [Tiny Gay Sam.] -musical theatre kinda kid named Kurt.

[How long has it been since he last talked to either of them? He spent a lot of time trying to adopt Kurt as a surrogate brother.

Dean's expression of "reminiscing" looks vaguely uncomfortable, though, but that's because he's remembering how many times he told Kurt that he wasn't gay.]

[ Philip takes only marginal notice of the vaguely uncomfortable look. Something else has caught his attention. ]

Yeah, she... Santana, I mean, I... know her.

[ He unwraps the jumbled mess of a sentence slowly, because after that he really isn't sure where he wants this conversation to go.

Philip almost counts the seconds, hoping that the need to dwell on that particular subject will pass in 21... 22... 23-- It doesn't. ]

I met her a few times myself, actually I- I actually just ran into her before I came down here and she--

[ He hesitates one last time. This is the thing you say after taking a deep breath, the thing you want to convey in a tone as neutral as possible, because there's probably a reasonable explanation or maybe it's you that's overreacting and yes, it's definitely that, you know it has to be, it's just that you-- ]

She asked me if an alien had eaten my eye because you told her that's what happened to yours.

[ It's just that you can't really stop yourself from feeling a little angry and betrayed. ]

[This is the expression Dean makes when he realizes that he's done something wrong, and at the time it had seemed perfectly reasonable - only now does it come full circle to bite him in the ass. He's beginning to see a pattern here.

Frantically, Dean tries to remember the when and the where of that particular conversation with She Who Cannot Keep Her Mouth Shut. If it had to do with missing eyes, then it was back when he was playing pirate in one of the first floor living rooms. He doesn't recall as much as he normally would, because admittedly he'd been drinking at the time...and taking pain pills, because this is a brilliant combination for those of us who would like to shut down our livers.]

Yeah...

[He begins hesitantly, because he doesn't really know where he's going with this himself.]

It was a few days after, and she, uh...she just asked what happened, all I told her was that I ran into an alien, and that I took care of it. That's all I said, man, no names.

[Dean's stupid, but not that stupid. He doesn't really blame Philip if he's upset, though. Dean's been there.]

I'm sorry, dude, I shouldn't've said anything, but she was askin' a whole lotta questions and that's what came out.

[Broaching the subject of "she also said a British guy with a knife came after her" might be a little difficult as well, but one hurtle at a time.]

[ Philip almost regrets mentioning the incident the moment those words pass his lips. He wouldn't have had to, if more time had passed and he'd been given a chance to think about the scenario. Really, what else was Dean supposed to say?

...Something further from the truth, at least Philip would certainly have preferred it that way. But when it comes down to it, isn't one half-truth as good as the other? ]

No, um... no, it's--

[ Philip frowns and rubs his temple. ]

It's fine, I just-- I was... just really startled when she brought it up, I almost--

[ He laughs weakly. ]

Tha girl... is really not good at minding her own business, is she?

[Relief hits Dean in the chest like a pro boxer with bricks in his gloves. There are some things that should never be shared with the general mansion public, and Philip's resident evil is one of them. Keeping that secret from everyone else is getting harder, but it shouldn't be unmanageable. They're clever guys, they can figure it out.]

You have no idea. [Dean groans, rumpling his hair.] She's gettin' a little too good at showing up at the worst possible times.

[Like when he and Castiel were participating in ~~bakery porn~~ questionable pastry-related recreation.]

And I don't remember being that forward in high school. Hard to believe she's friggin' sixteen.

[ Neither does Philip, but that goes without saying... or so he likes to think. He also liked to think that Santana's behaviour was an American thing, but apparently not.

Leaves future thing and girl thing. Bad thing in any case. He sure is glad he's teaching at university level... was teaching at university lev-- never mind. ]

I know, I-- [ Hesitation. He'd rather have a nice topic to talk about, but it's a little hard to shove the concern aside now that they're on the subject. ] I'm worried she might find out. What if she finds out, Dean?

She's not gonna find out.

[Dean states bluntly, bypassing all reassuring formalities. Santana just has the uncanny ability to catch him at his most awkward moments - apparently it's the same with Philip.]

Besides, if she finds out anything, it'd be that you played Operator on me, I played Operator on you, and we can blame everything on two separate events. She'll think we're freaks, but I don't have a problem with that if you don't.

[Not that she doesn't think they're freaks already, but hey.]

Let's just cross that bridge when we get there, yeah? Until then, avoid her like the plague.

[Or alternatively, the Croatoan virus.]

Edited 2011-08-21 05:39 (UTC)

[ The answer to that first statement is a small and unhappy sigh. Freaks. If he wanted anyone to think that then he could just as well come clean about Clarence.

But he told himself he'd keep a lid on that topic. No more whining about wanting to be normal in front of Dean.

So. Second statement. ]

That's easier said than done, sometimes-- Sometimes I think she's everywhere. I even found out she's dating one of my friends...

[ Philip trails off. Hardly the worst thing they ever talked about, but far from the best. ]

Anyway, let's... talk about something else.

[Dean wants to say WHO, THAT TIM GUY? but refrains. They are manly men and they can change the subject in a manly fashion while still retaining their masculinity despite avoiding uncomfortable subjects.]

Well, it's the fucked-up emotions event, ain't it?

[Nudge nudge.]

Who d'you got a hankering for?

[ Groan. ]

This again? Really?

[ WELL. Here goes: ]

I feel like I should dress up to the nines and invite somebody over for coffee. [ Beat. ] Actually, it's worse. I feel like I did years ago when I still lied to my mum because I just had to sneak out and meet a girl.

[ Percentage of actual question answered: 0. ]

Edited 2011-08-22 21:56 (UTC)

[Dean likes how you cleverly avoided answering that question, Philip. He really does. Except for the part where you didn't actually answer the question.

Good thing Dean knows how to translate.]

So you're horny.

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