26: [Action] Dazed and Confused

[dashboardlite]

[ Dean is only a little twitchy.  He never really feels like he needs things, but right now he's lacking.  Something.  Something big.  It's not starvation, because when he's hungry, he gets food.  When he wants sex, he finds Cas.  Dean doesn't get cravings because he's always well-fed.

But what he needs right now is people.

So Dean is wandering around the grounds for the most part, trying to locate the people he needs.  He could be in the parlour, fixing a drink.  He could be kicking at the edge of the hedge maze, contemplating going inside but unwilling to risk not being able to find his way out again without a bag of peanut M&Ms to leave as a trail guide.  He could even be in the kitchen, trying (and failing) to cook something to keep his mind off of everything.

He's that restless.

Good luck. ]

Comments

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip never thought about it. Maybe he simply assumed Dean would have kept his cool, but now? That sounds like an image worth contemplating. He grins. ]

I suddenly wonder if there is a way to access old transmissions.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[ HA OH THAT IS SO HILARIOUS but not really. BI ]

Yeah, real funny. I had things under control, Mr. Lucy-in-the-Sky-With-Diamonds.

[Except for the part where his two first contacts were teenagers; one of whom had a crush on him for a solid three months, the other...the other...was Santana, so. There it is, then.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Like during a zombie apocalypse. I'm sure.

[ ...That was only half sarcastic, actually. Philip does have faith in Dean's interdimensional travelling skills. ]

Hey, um, so...

[ It's not often that they find something to talk about that doesn't directly or indirectly branch into trauma, so Philip is visibly pleased to have stumbles across something that sounds harmless enough. ]

Who was your welcome committee? You know, I mean, who were the first people you met here or- or talked to?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean can travel interdimensionally backwards, forwards, and side-to-side, thank you very much.

Just not in a plane.]

Uh.

[That's, uh...yeah, that's a good place to start. Welcoming committees. Sure.]

Teenagers.

[Looking back, he's just a little ashamed of how worried he was about monsters jumping out from behind closed doors. Carrying a duffel bag of weapons around isn't the most discreet way to protect oneself and others. But, in his defense, he'd been new. Retrospect has a habit of making him feel like a prized tool.]

A cheerleader named Santana and a- [Tiny Gay Sam.] -musical theatre kinda kid named Kurt.

[How long has it been since he last talked to either of them? He spent a lot of time trying to adopt Kurt as a surrogate brother.

Dean's expression of "reminiscing" looks vaguely uncomfortable, though, but that's because he's remembering how many times he told Kurt that he wasn't gay.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip takes only marginal notice of the vaguely uncomfortable look. Something else has caught his attention. ]

Yeah, she... Santana, I mean, I... know her.

[ He unwraps the jumbled mess of a sentence slowly, because after that he really isn't sure where he wants this conversation to go.

Philip almost counts the seconds, hoping that the need to dwell on that particular subject will pass in 21... 22... 23-- It doesn't. ]

I met her a few times myself, actually I- I actually just ran into her before I came down here and she--

[ He hesitates one last time. This is the thing you say after taking a deep breath, the thing you want to convey in a tone as neutral as possible, because there's probably a reasonable explanation or maybe it's you that's overreacting and yes, it's definitely that, you know it has to be, it's just that you-- ]

She asked me if an alien had eaten my eye because you told her that's what happened to yours.

[ It's just that you can't really stop yourself from feeling a little angry and betrayed. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[This is the expression Dean makes when he realizes that he's done something wrong, and at the time it had seemed perfectly reasonable - only now does it come full circle to bite him in the ass. He's beginning to see a pattern here.

Frantically, Dean tries to remember the when and the where of that particular conversation with She Who Cannot Keep Her Mouth Shut. If it had to do with missing eyes, then it was back when he was playing pirate in one of the first floor living rooms. He doesn't recall as much as he normally would, because admittedly he'd been drinking at the time...and taking pain pills, because this is a brilliant combination for those of us who would like to shut down our livers.]

Yeah...

[He begins hesitantly, because he doesn't really know where he's going with this himself.]

It was a few days after, and she, uh...she just asked what happened, all I told her was that I ran into an alien, and that I took care of it. That's all I said, man, no names.

[Dean's stupid, but not that stupid. He doesn't really blame Philip if he's upset, though. Dean's been there.]

I'm sorry, dude, I shouldn't've said anything, but she was askin' a whole lotta questions and that's what came out.

[Broaching the subject of "she also said a British guy with a knife came after her" might be a little difficult as well, but one hurtle at a time.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip almost regrets mentioning the incident the moment those words pass his lips. He wouldn't have had to, if more time had passed and he'd been given a chance to think about the scenario. Really, what else was Dean supposed to say?

...Something further from the truth, at least Philip would certainly have preferred it that way. But when it comes down to it, isn't one half-truth as good as the other? ]

No, um... no, it's--

[ Philip frowns and rubs his temple. ]

It's fine, I just-- I was... just really startled when she brought it up, I almost--

[ He laughs weakly. ]

Tha girl... is really not good at minding her own business, is she?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Relief hits Dean in the chest like a pro boxer with bricks in his gloves. There are some things that should never be shared with the general mansion public, and Philip's resident evil is one of them. Keeping that secret from everyone else is getting harder, but it shouldn't be unmanageable. They're clever guys, they can figure it out.]

You have no idea. [Dean groans, rumpling his hair.] She's gettin' a little too good at showing up at the worst possible times.

[Like when he and Castiel were participating in bakery porn questionable pastry-related recreation.]

And I don't remember being that forward in high school. Hard to believe she's friggin' sixteen.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Neither does Philip, but that goes without saying... or so he likes to think. He also liked to think that Santana's behaviour was an American thing, but apparently not.

Leaves future thing and girl thing. Bad thing in any case. He sure is glad he's teaching at university level... was teaching at university lev-- never mind. ]

I know, I-- [ Hesitation. He'd rather have a nice topic to talk about, but it's a little hard to shove the concern aside now that they're on the subject. ] I'm worried she might find out. What if she finds out, Dean?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

She's not gonna find out.

[Dean states bluntly, bypassing all reassuring formalities. Santana just has the uncanny ability to catch him at his most awkward moments - apparently it's the same with Philip.]

Besides, if she finds out anything, it'd be that you played Operator on me, I played Operator on you, and we can blame everything on two separate events. She'll think we're freaks, but I don't have a problem with that if you don't.

[Not that she doesn't think they're freaks already, but hey.]

Let's just cross that bridge when we get there, yeah? Until then, avoid her like the plague.

[Or alternatively, the Croatoan virus.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ The answer to that first statement is a small and unhappy sigh. Freaks. If he wanted anyone to think that then he could just as well come clean about Clarence.

But he told himself he'd keep a lid on that topic. No more whining about wanting to be normal in front of Dean.

So. Second statement. ]

That's easier said than done, sometimes-- Sometimes I think she's everywhere. I even found out she's dating one of my friends...

[ Philip trails off. Hardly the worst thing they ever talked about, but far from the best. ]

Anyway, let's... talk about something else.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean wants to say WHO, THAT TIM GUY? but refrains. They are manly men and they can change the subject in a manly fashion while still retaining their masculinity despite avoiding uncomfortable subjects.]

Well, it's the fucked-up emotions event, ain't it?

[Nudge nudge.]

Who d'you got a hankering for?

1/2

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Groan. ]

This again? Really?

2/2

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ WELL. Here goes: ]

I feel like I should dress up to the nines and invite somebody over for coffee. [ Beat. ] Actually, it's worse. I feel like I did years ago when I still lied to my mum because I just had to sneak out and meet a girl.

[ Percentage of actual question answered: 0. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean likes how you cleverly avoided answering that question, Philip. He really does. Except for the part where you didn't actually answer the question.

Good thing Dean knows how to translate.]

So you're horny.

1/3

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ ALL THE D8 ]

No! What--

2/3

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ ...It did sort of sound like that, didn't it?

...And it's not strictly untrue, crude phrasing aside, right?

But still... ]

That's not... no. That's not it, that's not... not all of it.

3/3

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ GOD. Okay. Okay, let him try this again. Slowly. And carefully. ]

It. Would be nice. To be. In a committed relationship again.

[ DEEP BREATH. Beat. Hasty addition: ]

...is what this event wants me to think, apparently.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean thinks that committed relationships are nice when they work; he does now, at least, but he won't in an hour or so when he and Castiel break up. He therefore nods understandingly. The event isn't just about hatesex or lust, but it is weighing heavily on people's dormant (or in some cases, not-so dormant) feelings.]

So you miss being in a relationship, s'only natural that it's gonna show during the event.

[Hands in his pockets, Dean purses his lips thoughtfully and mulls over the "quadrants" he's got. Philip does seem to have a rather glaring void.]

You gonna try for one?

[Just out of curiosity, dude. Who else would offer his services as a loving and supportive wingman?]

1/2

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip actually doesn't.

Not on a non-event day.

Not in that way.

It's just...

It's just that being with somebody is one item on a long list of things Philip regrets not being able to do anymore.

Just one more thing that was always secondary at best, because he thought there would be no deadline, no sudden too late.

But now he's standing at that point.

And Dean's question only earns the hunter a mirthless laughter of disbelief. ]

2/2

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Dean, even if I wanted to, really wanted to, not just because I'm being made by an event, I... I think you're forgetting that I'm not exactly available.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean hasn't forgotten about Clarence. But how much of an asshole would the little headvoice have to be to not want to see what a few harmless endorphins could do to the system? Sex is good for everybody.

Unless Clarence just thrives on misery.

...Yeah, okay then.]

Is this just from the "I have a douchebag alien in my head and could hurt you" perspective, or the "I have a douchebag alien in my head, period, end of story" perspective?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Well. At least Dean isn't completely unaware of the problem. Still... ]

Where's the difference?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[He won't sugar-coat it.]

One says "I'm a menace to society", and the other says "I'm not even going to try."

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Normally his answer might be different, but the following question has been circling around in his head all event long, so finally voicing it comes easy. ]

Do you have any idea what he'd do to somebody I cared about that much?

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