31: [Video] Any Way You Want It

[dashboardlite]

Some of you may know Dean as "the obnoxious guy who plays loud music in the library."

Some of you may know him as "the obnoxious monster hunter with bad fashion sense."

Some of you may even know him as "jerk."

To you, he says "bitch" in return.

Fondly.

Dean is currently living up to everyone's expectations in the kitchen, being obnoxious and playing loud music* as he cooks the greatest creation known to mankind: The Turducken.

But one man cannot devour such a majestic beast all on his own. This is where you come in.






* - In case you were wondering, it's Journey.

Comments

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

It's a turducken.

[Dean grins madly, because dude he is so excited you have no idea.]

It's a chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey. Pretty friggin' sweet, right?

[battleaxebass.livejournal.com]

Pffft, haha! [Okay, this tickles her funnybone, however fickle.] What? Just meat stuffed inside of meat stuffed inside of meat? Why?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[He leans a little closer and, in hushed tones, says,]

I think the real question you should be asking here is why not?

[battleaxebass.livejournal.com]

[She cackles and slaps him on the shoulder.]

Yeah, sure! Then cover it in bacon and wrap it in a tortilla!

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Then you gotta deep-fry it.

[He likes the way she thinks.]

And garnish with a fresh sprig of parsley.

[battleaxebass.livejournal.com]

Psh. Garnishing is nerds.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

It makes it fancy. Not that I'm fancy or anything, but, y'know. S'how it goes.

[battleaxebass.livejournal.com]

Stuff that's wrapped in other stuff isn't fancy. But whatever!

[She peaks in the oven again.]

Besides, you should garnish with red! Green is useless!

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

I'm not gonna put tomatoes on my turducken, Marceline. That's just weird.

[DUH.]

But-!

[He whips around to the cupboard. Making amends for everything he's done seems to be the order of the day, so Dean pulls out some dark red cranberry stuff they usually smear on turkeys.]

Try this.

[battleaxebass.livejournal.com]

[Your offering of red pleases Marceline. She greedily grabs the bowl.]

Ooooo, don't mind if I do!

[She scoops up a whole glob in her hand, because psssh, what are manners? With a slurping sound, she sucks the red out of all of it. Mmm!]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

How is it? Usually I hate that stuff, but what does red taste like?

[battleaxebass.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, it depends! This is kinda warm and fruity-- but some of it is spicy. Tomatoes make me all hyper.

My favorite is blood though.

[She leans close to whisper in Dean's ear.]

It tastes like suffering.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[He would be more creeped out, but Dean finds serious amusement in the disturbing whisper and struggles to hold back a laugh before snorting hysterically.]

The Hell is suffering supposed to taste like? The lines at Disney World or a losing lottery ticket?

[battleaxebass.livejournal.com]

[Marceline cackles. It is more fun when people run in terror, but she likes that Dean is wise to the game.]

Like orphan elves crying!

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[GRIN.]

The elves themselves, or just their tears?

[battleaxebass.livejournal.com]

Oh, dude, don't mess around with elf tears. That is serious potent magical stuff. Drinking them would mess you up bad.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

No way, seriously?

[...is she trolling him?]

[battleaxebass.livejournal.com]

Seriously! You'll get a bad case of the wizard eyes. That stuff is whack.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Well, what the Hell are wizard eyes?

[battleaxebass.livejournal.com]

Um, sometimes when you get mad magic skills, you get the wizard eyes. You start to see stuff that isn't really there.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

So it's like tripping on acid?

[...wait, he should explain, right?]

Acid's like...the name of some messed-up substance that makes you hallucinate where I'm from.