31: [Video] Any Way You Want It

[dashboardlite]

Some of you may know Dean as "the obnoxious guy who plays loud music in the library."

Some of you may know him as "the obnoxious monster hunter with bad fashion sense."

Some of you may even know him as "jerk."

To you, he says "bitch" in return.

Fondly.

Dean is currently living up to everyone's expectations in the kitchen, being obnoxious and playing loud music* as he cooks the greatest creation known to mankind: The Turducken.

But one man cannot devour such a majestic beast all on his own. This is where you come in.






* - In case you were wondering, it's Journey.

Comments

2/2

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

I sort of--

[ He laughs awkwardly. Okay, he wouldn't have mentioned it if it was that bad, but he sure would have phrased it differently if he'd known that he had fangirl privilege over Dean.

Philip slowly pours the first cup of coffee. ]

I think... Santana had a bit of a crush on me.

[ 'Think', 'a bit' and 'crush' being some minor understatements here. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean had one fangirl and it wasn't a girl, so we're just not going to talk about the Medicine Seller unless we have to.]

She swoon over you like you were Fabio, or something?

[Dean tosses the apple pieces into a pie crust, adding the necessary spices over the top and licking sugar from his fingers.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Cream, milk, sugar?

[ Whipped cream? Handcuffs? ...No, wait. He's mincing topics now. Let's put that cup of coffee down for a second.

Fabio? Fabio Lanzoni? ]

...That about sums it up.

[ Oh, Philip had his fanboy too, but unlike Santana he's not a shared acquaintance (to Philip's knowledge) or somebody Philip would necessarily want to expose for his temporary admiration. ]

Honestly, she's-- Wait, does that mean you ran after somebody with a pen for autographs?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean nods towards his mug-] Black. None of that prissy stuff. [-And rolls another crust over the top of his soon-to-be glorious apple pie.]

And nah, I didn't. Not really. I just really wanted Kurt to be my little brother, or somethin'.

[...oh. Wait. Does Philip even know Kurt?]

He's one of those students - goes to school with Santana, y'know? First person to talk to me here.

[Kurt's a good kid. He had a phase about crushing on Dean, but that's...mostly gone, now. Then again, so is Kurt. He went missing and Dean is more than a little upset about that. He was just like a Tiny Gay Sam.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip in turn rolls his eye. FINE, guess he put out all that prissy stuff for nothing then.

...Maybe one cube of sugar. ]

I probably saw him on the network, but I don't think we talked.

[ He puts down the manlier (*snerk*) coffee somewhere next to Dean and uses the opportunity to glare sceptically at his progress before sitting down. ]

...Apparently the first person who talked to me here wanted a date as well. I'd blame it on the accent, but that doesn't usually work.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Blacker than a moonless night. Hotter and more bitter than Hell itself. That is coffee. The manliest of beverages.]

Weeeeeell, well, well, aren't you popular?

[Watch him crimp the edges of that pie crust together with expert form!]

Did they make you a daisy chain and pinky-promise not to crush on anyone else at school?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip would really rather not watch that, thank you. Instead he will look into the ebony depths of his boiling hot coffee made of bitter manliness *~except for one cube of sugar~*. ]

Yes, that sounds exactly like something Santana would do.

[ Because unlike you, my perverted friend, Philip is not held back by the jailbait aspect of it all but rather by the fact that he really doesn't want to tap that at all, thank you very much. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

I was talking about the first person you met here, not Santana.

[Duh.

And Phil, Phil, Phil - Don't hate on the perversion. It happens to the most Philip best of us.]

So you had some stalkers. What's the big deal? It ain't like any of 'em tried to get into your pants, right?

[Dean's event was so chilled out he hardly knew it was an event at all, save for the weird food and the unusual desire to adopt Kurt into the Winchester family. No big deal.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

...I didn't say there was a big deal.

[ He didn't. And there wasn't. A bit WTF, sure, but no big deal. ]

I've still got all my lives and the rest of my limbs and I didn't come out of this looking like an idiot; if you're asking me I'd be perfectly happy with more events like this.

[ Sip. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Fair 'nuff. I kinda liked it, myself.

[Dean pauses in his pie-crimping to shoot Philip a sidelong look. He seems better, at any rate. No more post-event trauma, no more post-post-event trauma. Arbitrarily, Dean wonders whether or not Philip ended up patching things together with everyone after Clarence dropped by.

It's a subject they haven't touched on.]

So...Speaking of events fucking people over.

[Perfectly normal transition, right? Dean sticks the first pie in another oven. Damn, this kitchen is awesome.]

You, uh...fix things? With what's-her-face?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Dean, um...

[ He laughs, but neither his tone nor Philip himself are quite sure if this matter is actually amusing or tragic. ]

I might need a little more than what's-her-face.

[ ]

1/2

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Sigh.

Dean doesn't know Shannon Beiste very well, nor does he know that she knows Philip, so that's already out. Santana is obviously doing better if she spent the past event fawning over Philip like some kind of groupie, so if Dean can just remember the name of the chick he hasn't even met yet...

Eleanor? No.

...Ellie?

Yeah, no.

Eva?]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[He snaps his fingers as soon as it hits him.]

Evelyn!

[And he got it all by himself!]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ OH HER.

...Okay, so they never even talked about Beiste and Dean obviously knows Santana's name, so Philip never actually doubted the her-face in question, but... ah well, it was nice putting the answer off for a while longer.

Casually: ]

We, um, we patched things up.

[ Sip. ]

...

[ Sip. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean, obviously a little put-out by this deliberately vague reply, gives Philip a "Well? (http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv4dcmviFQ1qd7ncoo3_250.gif)" sort of face.

Geez, dude, couldn't you have filled me in on the good stuff a little sooner?]

Yeah, and?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

And... now things are okay. Between us.

[ Long sip. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

That's it?

[ Translation: D: ]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

What did you want, a dramatic reenactment?

[ Of course that vague and taciturn display isn't done on purpose, why would you even say that?

...Sip. ♥ ]

She'd like to meet you sometime.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[No, actually, Dean didn't want a reenactment. He would have liked to know that his best friend was seeing someone from the get-go, rather than have to piece things together from The Return of Clarence, Pt. II. It's just what dudes do.

And Dean being a gossip-monger has absolutely nothing to do with it, shut up.

He's going to have to start cashing in on that alliance with Clarence's mirror. Secret agent spies, and all that. Because if Philip isn't going to keep him in the loop, Dean is going to have to find somebody who will.]

She does?

[Give him a second to properly WTF at that statement. It feels like a trick.]

...and you're...okay...with that.

[Even Dean realizes that he is not the sort of friend you introduce to your other friends.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Well.

[ This requires a moment of serious pretend consideration. ]

On the one hand she wants to be with me despite having met Clarence. But on the other hand we are talking about you...

[ After the pause for effect has been dutifully executed Philip gives Dean a look to the tune of Come on now, what do you think?

Because obviously Dean is one of his best friends and obviously he should get to meet Evelyn now that they're a couple (which Philip is being ever so straightforward about).

And he never had any doubts.

Never.

Had.

Any.

Doubts.

*cough* ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Ha ha.

[Hilarious.]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Surely Philip can understand that after all the evasive dodging and clever avoidance maneuvers he's taken to keep from telling Dean the when, the where, the how, and the nitty-gritty details, the hunter is a little skeptical about finally getting what he wanted.

Granted, it's not really what he wanted because getting Philip to say anything is like pulling teeth, but Dean will take it.

He lifts his left hand and places his right over his heart.]

A solemnly swear to be a good boy and only embarrass you a little.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Just as long as you're not responsible for the food.

[ He loves you too, Dean. ♥

Emptying his mug Philip takes a look at the progress of the hunter's culinary abomination. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean rolls his eyes.]

Laugh it up, Gordon Ramsey.

[Reaching for a can of pumpkin filling, Dean scoops the whole mess into a massive bowl and starts mixing other things in with it.]

I didn't have Thanksgiving turkeys growin' up. I'm making up for the holiday dinners I didn't get.

[There's no hint of sadness there, just fact. Preparing a big meal isn't feasible on a motel stove and Chef Boyardee was the only gourmet cook in Dean's childhood.]

But if I go into a food coma it's up to you to wake me up.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Oh fine. That is a fair point. If this abomination dinner is the way for Dean to take back something important he was deprived of then Philip really shouldn't be one to tear it apart.

...For much longer. ]

I didn't have Thanksgiving, but you don't see me trying to eat every single species at once.

[ You know what? Let's get another cup of coffee. ]

...And if you end up in a coma I might need to leave your body out on display as a warning sign for future generations.