28: [Video] Hot For Teacher

[dashboardlite]

[This program is brought to you by Herpexia: Daily Treatment for Genital Herpes.]

So, uh. It's come to my attention that whenever events roll around, everybody's usually running through the halls like chickens with their friggin' heads cut off. So today we're gonna fix that, 'cause this is what I do for a living.

[It appears that Dean is in the kitchen, and has covered an entire countertop with assorted objets d'hunting.]

Got a coupla basics here. Salt. [He lifts up a canister of the stuff.] Purifying chemical compound. Burns ghosts, but won't keep 'em away for long. You can protect yourself by drawing a circle with it and stayin' inside. Iron- [Dean gestures to the crowbar.] Also purifying, harms malevolent spirits.

[With a click, he's got a Zippo lighter out and lit.] Whole bunch of stuff is gonna hafta be burned. [Out goes the lighter.] Usually the remains of a dead person, so you might get your hands dirty, fair warning.

[Dean pockets the Zippo and leans in for a dramatic close-up on the camera.]

Where I come from, monsters are real. And they're not about to go away - especially not in Wonderland. You can either sit here with your thumbs up your asses, or be ready. I'm gonna take questions about whatever stuff you wanna throw at me, so knock yourselves out. Class is in session.

Comments

[Skeptical Video]

[boomerangbend.livejournal.com]

[Dean, you've got a curious if not skeptical student on your hands. However, you do sound professional, despite that salt bit. Spirit shenanigans isn't something he was expecting to be a universal constant, though. In his world, that salt thing isn't really... What's the deal with that?]

Not that I'm an expert on the subject, despite that this panda spirit kidnapped me and took me into the spirit world, but I don't think salt's gonna help you.

[Unless one person being the bridge between the spirit world and the physical one isn't exactly a universal constant. But he's still going to be doubting the use of salt.

And what the hell? A device that has fire come out of it? Wow, Sokka's world is really behind. When that part comes on, the teen looks transfixed. His lips form the words 'What in the...', but no sound comes.]

But I thought monsters were some kind of constant, like war or how good meat is. And I've never heard of burning a body to get rid of spirits either. I'm no Avatar, but I don't think that's how it works.

[Bro What Are You Smoking Video]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

...dude, I only got about half that stuff you just said.

[Panda spirits? Avatar? The spirit world is just a desaturated version of this world, but the rest of what he's saying doesn't particularly make sense.]

What universe are you from, anyway?

[Grammatically Incorrect Video]

[boomerangbend.livejournal.com]

[Well, this is gonna be fun explaining. Sokka does this all in one breath.]

Okay. I'll start from the beginning. So, in my world, there are these four nations. Mine, the water tribe, the horrible Fire Nation, the Earth Kingdom, and these guys called the Air Nomads, but technically there's only one of them now, and he's this guy called the Avatar, and me and my sister found him in an iceburg, but he wasn't frozen, and despite being annoyed with him for a while, I grew to love him like a little brother, and somewhere along the way, we ran into this forest panda guardian thing called Habi, and I thought it would be good to hit him with my boomerang, which in all honesty, works pretty well with everything else, but that got me kidnapped for a while, but Aang saved me and some other people so it was okay. Oh, and we're at war with the Fire Nation and a lot of other stuff.

[And he takes a long breath because, wow, that was long.]

Basically, I'm from a universe where magical flying bison exist and people have amazing powers where they can bend the elements. Oh, and where there's a guy who's been reincarnated a bazillion times who's the bridge between our world and the spirit world.

[Honestly, he still thinks some of it is weird, but he's come to terms with most of it by now.]

[What Even Video]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean absorbs all of this information with the speed of a water-submerged sponge. That is to say, he only grasps some of it when osmosis moves the subjects around a little, making space.]

And where the heck are you in all this crap? You an element-y person too?

[Don't Know Video]

[boomerangbend.livejournal.com]

[Well, at least he didn't try explaining their group's entire journey. That would've taken weeks.]

Nope. I'm the normal guy with the boomerang and space sword.

[The mansion was kind enough to let him bring his boomerang. His space sword was another story, though.]

[Video]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

I know how that feels.

[Once Sam started getting weird, psychic visions, Dean felt like the only normal one around.]

Excluding the weapons. I got some different stuff.