dashboardlite: (SNERK)
[personal profile] dashboardlite
Some of you may know Dean as "the obnoxious guy who plays loud music in the library."

Some of you may know him as "the obnoxious monster hunter with bad fashion sense."

Some of you may even know him as "jerk."

To you, he says "bitch" in return.

Fondly.

Dean is currently living up to everyone's expectations in the kitchen, being obnoxious and playing loud music* as he cooks the greatest creation known to mankind: The Turducken.

But one man cannot devour such a majestic beast all on his own. This is where you come in.






* - In case you were wondering, it's Journey.

Date: 2011-12-06 12:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com
[ Philip frowns at the gesture and the following suggestion alike. Cherpumple? He doesn't even want to guess. ]

...What sort of culinary abomination is that?

Date: 2011-12-06 12:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
It's like-

[Hold on, he needs both hands dry to help describe this with gestures.]

-it's like three-layer cake, and baked into each layer is a pie: one pumpkin, one apple, and one cherry.

[Now, does that not sound like the most delicious thing to exist on the entire fucking planet?]

And then you cover the whole thing in frosting.

7 and all subsequent numbers until 75/75

Date: 2011-12-06 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com
[ ...You know what, I think the point here is that he's pretty much stuck like this now. ]

1/ONLY 2

Date: 2011-12-06 12:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
[Dean starts pulling out ingredients. Doo dee doo~]

If your face gets stuck like that, no one's gonna wanna hang out with you...

2/2

Date: 2011-12-06 12:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
[A beat. Considering the possibilities...]

...I wonder if I could make a cherpumplecan cake and get a pecan pie in there, too....

Date: 2011-12-06 01:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com
[ Philip grudgingly abandons the ever so appropriate expression and slinks into another corner of the kitchen to make himself some coffee. Just. Plain coffee. ]

Are you going to devour that thing on your own or did you want to unleash it on the public?

[ At this point neither answer would particularly surprise him. ]

Date: 2011-12-06 01:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
Thought I'd share the wealth of nations like a true American.

[He nods over towards the coffee pot.]

Make me some-a that, will ya? I've been stuffing birds since this morning and I only got one cup in before I got my hands dirty.

[Did that sound suggestive? Maybe just a little? Good.

Dean sets about cutting apples, getting less done than he ought to because he's eating every other slice while simultaneously trying to hold a conversation.
]

So what's new with you lately? The bathrobe event was weird, yeah?

Date: 2011-12-06 02:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com
[ And like a true Englishman Philip is going to smile politely, let Dean do his thing and quietly think about how this is madness and how much fun mocking him with Evelyn and Daniel will be later. ]

Tell me about it.

[ He waits by the pot, mugs, sugar and misc. ready at hand. ]

Or rather, tell me about your fanclub.

[ If Philip suffered from so many mad admirers already then he can't even imagine how crazy things must have been for Dean. ]

Date: 2011-12-06 03:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
...fanclub?

[Oh, this is rich. Too rich to let go of - if Philip is asking, he must have had a slew of admirers. Dean, on the other hand...]

Didn't have one.

[He pops another piece of apple into his mouth and chews slowly...slowly...slowly...and swallows. Then he grins.]

But you did, didn't you?

1/2

Date: 2011-12-06 03:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com
[ Oh. ]

Err...

2/2

Date: 2011-12-06 03:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com
I sort of--

[ He laughs awkwardly. Okay, he wouldn't have mentioned it if it was that bad, but he sure would have phrased it differently if he'd known that he had fangirl privilege over Dean.

Philip slowly pours the first cup of coffee.
]

I think... Santana had a bit of a crush on me.

[ 'Think', 'a bit' and 'crush' being some minor understatements here. ]

Date: 2011-12-06 05:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
[Dean had one fangirl and it wasn't a girl, so we're just not going to talk about the Medicine Seller unless we have to.]

She swoon over you like you were Fabio, or something?

[Dean tosses the apple pieces into a pie crust, adding the necessary spices over the top and licking sugar from his fingers.]

Date: 2011-12-06 06:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com
Cream, milk, sugar?

[ Whipped cream? Handcuffs? ...No, wait. He's mincing topics now. Let's put that cup of coffee down for a second.

Fabio? Fabio Lanzoni?
]

...That about sums it up.

[ Oh, Philip had his fanboy too, but unlike Santana he's not a shared acquaintance (to Philip's knowledge) or somebody Philip would necessarily want to expose for his temporary admiration. ]

Honestly, she's-- Wait, does that mean you ran after somebody with a pen for autographs?

Date: 2011-12-06 06:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
[Dean nods towards his mug-] Black. None of that prissy stuff. [-And rolls another crust over the top of his soon-to-be glorious apple pie.]

And nah, I didn't. Not really. I just really wanted Kurt to be my little brother, or somethin'.

[...oh. Wait. Does Philip even know Kurt?]

He's one of those students - goes to school with Santana, y'know? First person to talk to me here.

[Kurt's a good kid. He had a phase about crushing on Dean, but that's...mostly gone, now. Then again, so is Kurt. He went missing and Dean is more than a little upset about that. He was just like a Tiny Gay Sam.]

Date: 2011-12-06 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com
[ Philip in turn rolls his eye. FINE, guess he put out all that prissy stuff for nothing then.

...Maybe one cube of sugar.
]

I probably saw him on the network, but I don't think we talked.

[ He puts down the manlier (*snerk*) coffee somewhere next to Dean and uses the opportunity to glare sceptically at his progress before sitting down. ]

...Apparently the first person who talked to me here wanted a date as well. I'd blame it on the accent, but that doesn't usually work.

Date: 2011-12-06 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
[Blacker than a moonless night. Hotter and more bitter than Hell itself. That is coffee. The manliest of beverages.]

Weeeeeell, well, well, aren't you popular?

[Watch him crimp the edges of that pie crust together with expert form!]

Did they make you a daisy chain and pinky-promise not to crush on anyone else at school?

Date: 2011-12-06 11:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com
[ Philip would really rather not watch that, thank you. Instead he will look into the ebony depths of his boiling hot coffee made of bitter manliness *~except for one cube of sugar~*. ]

Yes, that sounds exactly like something Santana would do.

[ Because unlike you, my perverted friend, Philip is not held back by the jailbait aspect of it all but rather by the fact that he really doesn't want to tap that at all, thank you very much. ]

Date: 2011-12-06 11:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
I was talking about the first person you met here, not Santana.

[Duh.

And Phil, Phil, Phil - Don't hate on the perversion. It happens to the most Philip best of us.
]

So you had some stalkers. What's the big deal? It ain't like any of 'em tried to get into your pants, right?

[Dean's event was so chilled out he hardly knew it was an event at all, save for the weird food and the unusual desire to adopt Kurt into the Winchester family. No big deal.]

Date: 2011-12-06 11:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com
...I didn't say there was a big deal.

[ He didn't. And there wasn't. A bit WTF, sure, but no big deal. ]

I've still got all my lives and the rest of my limbs and I didn't come out of this looking like an idiot; if you're asking me I'd be perfectly happy with more events like this.

[ Sip. ]

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Dean Winchester

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