31: [Video] Any Way You Want It

[dashboardlite]

Some of you may know Dean as "the obnoxious guy who plays loud music in the library."

Some of you may know him as "the obnoxious monster hunter with bad fashion sense."

Some of you may even know him as "jerk."

To you, he says "bitch" in return.

Fondly.

Dean is currently living up to everyone's expectations in the kitchen, being obnoxious and playing loud music* as he cooks the greatest creation known to mankind: The Turducken.

But one man cannot devour such a majestic beast all on his own. This is where you come in.






* - In case you were wondering, it's Journey.

Comments

[and everybody was kung fu fightiiiiing]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Because,

[Dean states without turning around, trying to figure out how to truss the largest bird the right way.]

Because I didn't know these even existed over Thanksgiving or I woulda made one before, and I missed the chance to get one then, so why not make one now?

[When he turns around to grin and wipe his hands off on the front of his jeans, he might have some spices from basting stuck to his cheek.]

S'just an extended holiday. Second holiday. [Welp.] ...I dunno, I just wanted to try it. Stop doing that.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip is not the biggest fan of chicken, turkey and other feathery foods under normal circumstances. But this? ]

...If Doctor Frankenstein had specialised in poultry instead of people his monster would probably look exactly like this. And would probably end up eating you.

[ He narrows his eyes at Dean's hand-wiping practice. Unsurprisingly it leaves something to be desired. ]

...Which, to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely convinced this one won't.

[ I hope you can tell how much love and appreciation Philip holds for your post holiday project, Dean. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Not if I eat it first.

[So put that in your pipe and smoke it. Dean wipes his hands on his pants a second time just because Philip seems so bothered by it.

And hey man, just because you can cook gourmet meals doesn't mean you can look down your limey nose at the slovenly American who wants his meat tripled and combined into one delicious monstrosity.]

Be happy, I coulda covered it in bacon, too.

[Oh, but he was tempted.

After carefully delivering his bird(s) to the oven and checking the temperature, Dean finally moves to the sink to wash his hands and glances over one shoulder at Philip.]

You could help me make a cherpumple cake.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip frowns at the gesture and the following suggestion alike. Cherpumple? He doesn't even want to guess. ]

...What sort of culinary abomination is that?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

It's like-

[Hold on, he needs both hands dry to help describe this with gestures.]

-it's like three-layer cake, and baked into each layer is a pie: one pumpkin, one apple, and one cherry.

[Now, does that not sound like the most delicious thing to exist on the entire fucking planet?]

And then you cover the whole thing in frosting.

1/75

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

2/75

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

3/75

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

4/75

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

5/75

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

6/75

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

7 and all subsequent numbers until 75/75

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ ...You know what, I think the point here is that he's pretty much stuck like this now. ]

1/ONLY 2

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean starts pulling out ingredients. Doo dee doo~]

If your face gets stuck like that, no one's gonna wanna hang out with you...

2/2

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[A beat. Considering the possibilities...]

...I wonder if I could make a cherpumplecan cake and get a pecan pie in there, too....

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip grudgingly abandons the ever so appropriate expression and slinks into another corner of the kitchen to make himself some coffee. Just. Plain coffee. ]

Are you going to devour that thing on your own or did you want to unleash it on the public?

[ At this point neither answer would particularly surprise him. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

Thought I'd share the wealth of nations like a true American.

[He nods over towards the coffee pot.]

Make me some-a that, will ya? I've been stuffing birds since this morning and I only got one cup in before I got my hands dirty.

[Did that sound suggestive? Maybe just a little? Good.

Dean sets about cutting apples, getting less done than he ought to because he's eating every other slice while simultaneously trying to hold a conversation.]

So what's new with you lately? The bathrobe event was weird, yeah?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ And like a true Englishman Philip is going to smile politely, let Dean do his thing and quietly think about how this is madness and how much fun mocking him with Evelyn and Daniel will be later. ]

Tell me about it.

[ He waits by the pot, mugs, sugar and misc. ready at hand. ]

Or rather, tell me about your fanclub.

[ If Philip suffered from so many mad admirers already then he can't even imagine how crazy things must have been for Dean. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

...fanclub?

[Oh, this is rich. Too rich to let go of - if Philip is asking, he must have had a slew of admirers. Dean, on the other hand...]

Didn't have one.

[He pops another piece of apple into his mouth and chews slowly...slowly...slowly...and swallows. Then he grins.]

But you did, didn't you?

1/2

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Oh. ]

Err...

2/2

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

I sort of--

[ He laughs awkwardly. Okay, he wouldn't have mentioned it if it was that bad, but he sure would have phrased it differently if he'd known that he had fangirl privilege over Dean.

Philip slowly pours the first cup of coffee. ]

I think... Santana had a bit of a crush on me.

[ 'Think', 'a bit' and 'crush' being some minor understatements here. ]

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean had one fangirl and it wasn't a girl, so we're just not going to talk about the Medicine Seller unless we have to.]

She swoon over you like you were Fabio, or something?

[Dean tosses the apple pieces into a pie crust, adding the necessary spices over the top and licking sugar from his fingers.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Cream, milk, sugar?

[ Whipped cream? Handcuffs? ...No, wait. He's mincing topics now. Let's put that cup of coffee down for a second.

Fabio? Fabio Lanzoni? ]

...That about sums it up.

[ Oh, Philip had his fanboy too, but unlike Santana he's not a shared acquaintance (to Philip's knowledge) or somebody Philip would necessarily want to expose for his temporary admiration. ]

Honestly, she's-- Wait, does that mean you ran after somebody with a pen for autographs?

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Dean nods towards his mug-] Black. None of that prissy stuff. [-And rolls another crust over the top of his soon-to-be glorious apple pie.]

And nah, I didn't. Not really. I just really wanted Kurt to be my little brother, or somethin'.

[...oh. Wait. Does Philip even know Kurt?]

He's one of those students - goes to school with Santana, y'know? First person to talk to me here.

[Kurt's a good kid. He had a phase about crushing on Dean, but that's...mostly gone, now. Then again, so is Kurt. He went missing and Dean is more than a little upset about that. He was just like a Tiny Gay Sam.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip in turn rolls his eye. FINE, guess he put out all that prissy stuff for nothing then.

...Maybe one cube of sugar. ]

I probably saw him on the network, but I don't think we talked.

[ He puts down the manlier (*snerk*) coffee somewhere next to Dean and uses the opportunity to glare sceptically at his progress before sitting down. ]

...Apparently the first person who talked to me here wanted a date as well. I'd blame it on the accent, but that doesn't usually work.

[dashboardlite.livejournal.com]

[Blacker than a moonless night. Hotter and more bitter than Hell itself. That is coffee. The manliest of beverages.]

Weeeeeell, well, well, aren't you popular?

[Watch him crimp the edges of that pie crust together with expert form!]

Did they make you a daisy chain and pinky-promise not to crush on anyone else at school?