dashboardlite: (Keep it classy.)
[personal profile] dashboardlite
[This program is brought to you by Herpexia: Daily Treatment for Genital Herpes.]

So, uh. It's come to my attention that whenever events roll around, everybody's usually running through the halls like chickens with their friggin' heads cut off. So today we're gonna fix that, 'cause this is what I do for a living.

[It appears that Dean is in the kitchen, and has covered an entire countertop with assorted objets d'hunting.]

Got a coupla basics here. Salt. [He lifts up a canister of the stuff.] Purifying chemical compound. Burns ghosts, but won't keep 'em away for long. You can protect yourself by drawing a circle with it and stayin' inside. Iron- [Dean gestures to the crowbar.] Also purifying, harms malevolent spirits.

[With a click, he's got a Zippo lighter out and lit.] Whole bunch of stuff is gonna hafta be burned. [Out goes the lighter.] Usually the remains of a dead person, so you might get your hands dirty, fair warning.

[Dean pockets the Zippo and leans in for a dramatic close-up on the camera.]

Where I come from, monsters are real. And they're not about to go away - especially not in Wonderland. You can either sit here with your thumbs up your asses, or be ready. I'm gonna take questions about whatever stuff you wanna throw at me, so knock yourselves out. Class is in session.

Date: 2011-10-15 02:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
[Dean knows because Claire is an adorably sweet, charming little fellow who likes to share his woes about looking after Phil with Mr. Winchester.]

The first part.

[You know. Santana taking her own shirt off.

Dean can't blame Phil for looking, because da-yum, but maybe for the lack of a moral code.
]

Date: 2011-10-15 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] itsahotone.livejournal.com
Be more vague.

[Thinkthinkthink]

Are you asking if my evil breasts lured him in or something?

Date: 2011-10-17 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
[EYEROLL.]

Forget it. Slipped my mind that you guys don't have consciences.

[Poor, poor Claire. Arbitrarily, Dean wonders if Smith ended up killing Phil.

No big loss, right?
]

Date: 2011-10-17 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] itsahotone.livejournal.com
[Yes, Dean, because thinking killing Phil would be no big loss is speaking so highly of your conscience. B| ]

Please. It's hardly my fault if someone thinks their relationship doesn't matter enough to not sleep with me. I brought your twin up first and everything.

Date: 2011-10-17 11:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
Yeah, I'll remember that when Heaven starts passin' out incentives.

[He can see the neon sign now!

Santana Lopez: The Sometimes Harlot
]

Whatever. It ain't my problem unless other-me goes apeshit and starts murdering everybody once he finds out.

Date: 2011-10-17 11:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] itsahotone.livejournal.com
You seem way more likely to murder than he does. Just saying.

Date: 2011-10-18 04:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
You've never seen the businessmen on Wall Street lose money, have you?

[...okay, so he hasn't seen it in person, but it's on T.V. a lot. They always look upset.]

Date: 2011-10-18 04:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] itsahotone.livejournal.com
[Aaaand you've lost her.]

This is boring now. Either strip or tell me something I wanna know, please.

Date: 2011-10-18 05:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
[CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.]

Some chick from your school is convinced I'm starting a monster-hunting club. I think she wants to be president.

Date: 2011-10-18 05:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] itsahotone.livejournal.com
[Please be impressed: it takes all of one and a half seconds to pass before Santana says:]

Rachel freakin' Berry.

Date: 2011-10-18 05:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
That's the one!

[Yep. The one named after a fruit.]

Kinda tryin' to be an overachiever. I don't really know how to tell 'er that my job ain't kosher.

[...an ironic statement, because he actually doesn't know that she's Jewish.]

Date: 2011-10-18 05:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] itsahotone.livejournal.com
[Santana, always the most thoughtful when it comes to Rachel's Jewishness, snorts with laughter at his comment.]

Want me to tell her? That might actually save you from her existence for a little longer.

Date: 2011-10-19 05:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
Well for one, she doesn't exactly grasp that what I do for a living isn't a cakewalk. If you can get that much across to her, I'll be impressed.

Date: 2011-10-19 05:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] itsahotone.livejournal.com
[Sweet smile tiiiiime!] I could beat it into her.

Date: 2011-10-19 06:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
It kinda scares me that you're serious.

Date: 2011-10-19 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] itsahotone.livejournal.com
[Shrug.] She deserves it.

Date: 2011-10-20 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashboardlite.livejournal.com
I'll take your word for it.

Date: 2011-10-20 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] itsahotone.livejournal.com
Capital idea.

[The narration thanks you for giving the chance to say that.]
Edited Date: 2011-10-20 04:51 pm (UTC)

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Dean Winchester

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